THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Add To My Top 10

Content -4
Quality
None Light Moderate Heavy
Language        
Violence        
Sex        
Nudity        

Release Date: October 17, 2003

Starring: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, Andrew Brynarski, and R. Lee Ermey

Genre: Horror

Audience: Teenagers and adults REVIEWER:
Joseph L. Kalcso Loosely based
on a true story, and bearing
the same title as the original
horror cult classic, this
remake is big on atmosphere
and gore, but pretty empty on
substance. Five young people,
returning from Mexico with a
load of marijuana and cruising
on a sunny day through the
Texas countryside, barely miss
striking a distraught young
female (Lauren German) walking
on the side of the road.
Shaken by the encounter, they
stop to check her condition
and, to their later
misfortune, decide to give her
a ride, thus triggering the
sequence of events leading to
the horror that is to come.
While the group is trying to
figure out what may have
happened to her, she surprises
them all, including the
unsuspecting audience, by
taking an unexpected and
dramatic course of action,
forcing them to drastically
alter their plans from
attending a rock concert, to
frantically searching for the
nearest Sheriff’s office.
Eventually, they come up to
such a disgusting looking gas
station that is almost
appealing in all its
dilapidated majesty. That is
just on the outside! It gets
worse on the inside as they
walk into the surreal premises
– complete with a filthy,
decrepit counter set over a
refrigerated glass case
containing pigs’ heads
covered with big buzzing black
flies. As soon as the nasty
mannered matronly attendant,
who definitely looks like she
belongs, calls the Sheriff,
the audience just senses that
whomever she's calling will
probably turn out to be
anything but a clean cut,
straight arrow County Deputy,
especially when she announces
that the sheriff will meet
them at an old abandoned mill
in the middle of the woods
somewhere. Right about now the
audience can begin to smell a
rat, or is it those ripe
pigs’ heads? Forced by the
circumstances, the group
drives up to the mill where,
sure enough, they are met by
the grubby, foul mouthed, and
thoroughly corrupt Sheriff
Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey), who wants
to use the youth as bait to
lure the chainsaw-wielding
Leatherface from his hiding
place. The next thing to
happen, of course, is for the
group to conveniently separate
in search of a telephone.
Before any of them can say
“timber,” the old chainsaw
is back in action working
double-time in the expert,
murderous hands of the
terrifying Leatherface (Andrew
Bryniarski), who looks like a
cross between Jason of the
FRIDAY THE 13TH movies and the
Hunchback of Notre Dame. As
they say, sometimes it is best
to let sleeping dogs lie, and
this is a dog that could have
easily been left to sleep into
oblivion, and no one the
wiser. Then again, a new
generation of horror fans used
to FRIDAY THE 13TH and THE
BLAIR WITCH PROJECT may enjoy
the moody, depressing and
washed out photography, the
creepy cutaways of discolored
dentures in jars filled with
yellow fluids, and bloody
clumps of hair here and there.
They will also most likely
appreciate the documentary
style in the beginning and
ending sequences borrowed from
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, and
the graphic gore common with
the new generation of slasher
thrillers. Missing, however,
are the lighter moments or
tension relief that moviegoers
have also come to expect. Once
the roller coaster ride begins
in this movie, it is just
relentless, all the way to its
exhausting conclusion. The
thrill will be just as empty
and short lived as that of a
roller coaster, loaded,
however, with a host of
spiritually corrosive
impressions absent in any
amusement park ride. Special
mention must be made of R. Lee
Ermey who turns out to be
almost as scary as Leatherface
himself by the sheer power and
evil of his on-screen persona.
The rest of Leatherface's
family is also perfect as one
of the creepiest ensemble of
backwoods characters that
could put the mountain men of
DELIVERANCE to shame any time.
Jessica Biel does a credible
job as the superego of the
group choosing to do the right
thing most, but not all, of
the time. Jonathan Tucker,
Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel,
and Eric Balfour as her doomed
companions do a credible job
as well. With some
predictable chase sequences
inside a Meat packing company
named “Blair” of all
names, this is mediocre even
for its genre. Although good
acting is forthcoming from the
entire cast, with very
effective set design and
direction from Randy Huke and
Scott Gallagher, the
continuous hemorrhage, no pun
intended, of obscenities,
profanities, juvenile lust,
gore, drug usage, lying,
smoking, drinking, and graphic
killing, makes TEXAS CHAIN
MASSACRE highly hazardous even
to diehard horror movie
fans. Please address your
comments to: Robert Shaye and
Michael
Lynne Co-Chairman/Co-CEO New
Line Cinema 116 North
Robertson Blvd. Suite 200 Los
Angeles, CA 90048 Phone: (310)
854-5811 Fax: (310)
659-3568 Website:
www.newline.com

Rating: R

Runtime: 98 minutes

Address Comments To:

Content:

(PaPa, B, LLL, VVV, S, N, A, DD, M) Pagan worldview, with some redeeming elements shown in the actions of the heroine who most of the time chooses right over wrong; about 71 mostly strong obscenities, 17 strong profanities, 10 light profanities, vomiting, and obscene gesture; heavy, excessive, bloody, and scary violence and gore including deaths caused with the use of a chainsaw, automobile, knife, and gun; some passionate kissing and groping, plus a couple sexual comments; revealing wet shirt or blouse on woman; drinking; smoking and marijuana use; and, lying and madness.

GENRE: Horror

PaPa

B

LLL

VVV

S

N

A

DD

M

Summary:

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is a remake of the same name, about a group of kids used as bait to lure the chainsaw-wielding maniac Leatherface out from rural Texas, and about how things don’t quite go as planned. With sex, violence, and plenty of foul language, this remake is one that moral audiences should avoid.

Review:

Loosely based on a true story, and bearing the same title as the original horror cult classic, this remake is big on atmosphere and gore, but pretty empty on substance.

Five young people, returning from Mexico with a load of marijuana and cruising on a sunny day through the Texas countryside, barely miss striking a distraught young female (Lauren German) walking on the side of the road. Shaken by the encounter, they stop to check her condition and, to their later misfortune, decide to give her a ride, thus triggering the sequence of events leading to the horror that is to come.

While the group is trying to figure out what may have happened to her, she surprises them all, including the unsuspecting audience, by taking an unexpected and dramatic course of action, forcing them to drastically alter their plans from attending a rock concert, to frantically searching for the nearest Sheriff’s office. Eventually, they come up to such a disgusting looking gas station that is almost appealing in all its dilapidated majesty. That is just on the outside! It gets worse on the inside as they walk into the surreal premises – complete with a filthy, decrepit counter set over a refrigerated glass case containing pigs’ heads covered with big buzzing black flies.

As soon as the nasty mannered matronly attendant, who definitely looks like she belongs, calls the Sheriff, the audience just senses that whomever she's calling will probably turn out to be anything but a clean cut, straight arrow County Deputy, especially when she announces that the sheriff will meet them at an old abandoned mill in the middle of the woods somewhere. Right about now the audience can begin to smell a rat, or is it those ripe pigs’ heads? Forced by the circumstances, the group drives up to the mill where, sure enough, they are met by the grubby, foul mouthed, and thoroughly corrupt Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey), who wants to use the youth as bait to lure the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface from his hiding place.

The next thing to happen, of course, is for the group to conveniently separate in search of a telephone. Before any of them can say “timber,” the old chainsaw is back in action working double-time in the expert, murderous hands of the terrifying Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski), who looks like a cross between Jason of the FRIDAY THE 13TH movies and the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

As they say, sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie, and this is a dog that could have easily been left to sleep into oblivion, and no one the wiser. Then again, a new generation of horror fans used to FRIDAY THE 13TH and THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT may enjoy the moody, depressing and washed out photography, the creepy cutaways of discolored dentures in jars filled with yellow fluids, and bloody clumps of hair here and there. They will also most likely appreciate the documentary style in the beginning and ending sequences borrowed from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, and the graphic gore common with the new generation of slasher thrillers.

Missing, however, are the lighter moments or tension relief that moviegoers have also come to expect. Once the roller coaster ride begins in this movie, it is just relentless, all the way to its exhausting conclusion. The thrill will be just as empty and short lived as that of a roller coaster, loaded, however, with a host of spiritually corrosive impressions absent in any amusement park ride.

Special mention must be made of R. Lee Ermey who turns out to be almost as scary as Leatherface himself by the sheer power and evil of his on-screen persona. The rest of Leatherface's family is also perfect as one of the creepiest ensemble of backwoods characters that could put the mountain men of DELIVERANCE to shame any time. Jessica Biel does a credible job as the superego of the group choosing to do the right thing most, but not all, of the time. Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, and Eric Balfour as her doomed companions do a credible job as well.

With some predictable chase sequences inside a Meat packing company named “Blair” of all names, this is mediocre even for its genre. Although good acting is forthcoming from the entire cast, with very effective set design and direction from Randy Huke and Scott Gallagher, the continuous hemorrhage, no pun intended, of obscenities, profanities, juvenile lust, gore, drug usage, lying, smoking, drinking, and graphic killing, makes TEXAS CHAIN MASSACRE highly hazardous even to diehard horror movie fans.

Please address your comments to:

Robert Shaye and Michael Lynne

Co-Chairman/Co-CEO

New Line Cinema

116 North Robertson Blvd.

Suite 200

Los Angeles, CA 90048

Phone: (310) 854-5811

Fax: (310) 659-3568

Website: www.newline.com

SUMMARY: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is a remake of the same name, about a group of kids used as bait to lure the chainsaw-wielding maniac Leatherface out from rural Texas, and about how things don’t quite go as planned. With sex, violence, and plenty of foul language, this remake is one that moral audiences should avoid.

In Brief: