This Movie Really Bites
Release Date: June 01, 2012
Starring: David Koechner, David
Hasselhoff, Gary Busey, Ving
Rhames, Paul Scheer,
Christopher Lloyd, Danielle
Panabaker, Katrina Bowden
Audience: Older teenagers and adults
Runtime: 82 minutes
Distributor: Dimension Films/Weinstein
Director: John Gulager
Executive Producer: Bob Weinstein, Harvey
Weinstein, Ben Ormand, Matthew
Stein, Chako Van Leeuwen
Producer: Mark Canton, Marc Toberoff,
Writer: Marcus Dunstan, Patrick Melton
Address Comments To:Bob Weinstein and Harvey Weinstein, Co-Chairmen
Dimension Films (A division of The Weinstein Company)
345 Hudson Street, 13th Floor
New York, NY 10014
Phone: (646) 862-3400; Fax: (917) 368-7000
The movie’s incredibly stupid plot, from the writers of the fourth through seventh entries in the execrable SAW series, has the giant prehistoric piranhas from the previous PIRANHA movie relocate from an Arizona lake into a water amusement park. This occurs a year after the first movie’s massacre occurred. Despite being warned that piranhas are endangering his customers, the park owner cynically allows the park to open without warning the attendees. It’s left to his estranged stepdaughter and her friends to save as much of the day as possible.
PIRANHA 3DD is a cynical cash grab, which uses higher 3D prices against its audience in a blatant attempt to squeeze extra dollars out of them without even giving them a normal-length movie. Despite being officially 82 minutes long, the last ten minutes or more consist of the closing credits interspersed with countless unfunny blooper shots from the filmmaking process. The movie isn’t funny enough to work as comedy nor scary enough to work as horror. Instead, it throws nearly every imaginable form of misbehavior and immorality on screen in an assault on its audience’s no doubt limited senses. Like the last movie, there’s extreme foul language, extreme gruesome violence, and extreme sex and nudity.
Everyone involved in PIRANHA 3DD, from the director to cast and crew, should be ashamed of being involved with this film. All moviegoers should spare themselves the shame and agony of seeing this abhorrent, repugnant, badly made horrorshow.
PIRANHA 3DD is a cynical cash grab. It uses higher 3D prices in a blatant attempt to squeeze extra dollars out of moviegoers without even giving them a normal-length movie. Despite being officially 82 minutes long, the last ten minutes consist of closing credits interspersed with countless unfunny blooper shots. PIRANHA 3DD isn’t funny nor scary enough. Instead, it throws nearly every imaginable form of misbehavior and immorality on screen in a shameless assault on viewers. Like the last PIRANHA movie, there’s extreme foul language, extreme gruesome violence, and extremely sickening lewd content. Do yourself a favor and avoid this abhorrent, repugnant, badly made horrorshow.