The Cabin in the Woods
Boring! Pagan Evil Wins Again
Release Date: April 13, 2012
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Kristen
Connolly. Fran Kranz, Anna
Hutchison, Richard Jenkins,
Bradley Whitford, Brian White,
Audience: Older teenagers and adults
Runtime: 97 minutes
Distributor: Lionsgate Films
Director: Drew Goddard
Executive Producer: Jason Clark
Producer: Joss Whedon
Writer: Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard
Address Comments To:Jon Feltheimer, CEO
Lionsgate Films AKA Lions Gate Films
2700 Colorado Ave.
Santa Monica, CA 90404
Phone: (310) 449-9200; Fax: (310) 255-3870
The movie begins with two official looking scientists in some kind of huge facility arguing with one another and with some woman who works in the “chemistry division.” They leave the woman and enter a small control room with a young black security guard who’s there for the first time.
Cut to two college women in an apartment, Dana and Jules, discussing their weekend trip to “the cabin in the woods.” They join three young men, including Jules’ boyfriend Curt, a new guy for Dana named Holden, and Marty, the dope-smoking clown of the group. The five of them ride to an isolated cabin in the mountains. As their van goes into a mountain tunnel, a hawk flies
In the cabin, it’s clear that the two scientists are watching the people through hidden cameras. They start manipulating what’s going on in the cabin, including opening the door to the cellar, where the college students discover all sort of strange curios, such as dolls, masks, a mysterious steel ball with compartments that move, and a diary by a young girl 100 years ago.
Dana starts to read the diary, which sounds like the girl writing it is part of some cannibal family of backwoods folk. Against Marty’s advice, Dana reads a Latin phrase at the end of the diary. Cut to the woods, where the graves of the girl and her family sprout zombie versions of them.
As the zombies start attacking and killing the five students, the remaining students and the viewer begin to wonder what’s going on here. Especially when Marty accidentally discovers a bug in one of the cabin’s old-fashioned lamps.
[SPOILER ALERT] The second half of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS contains revelations about mythical monsters, pagan gods, and pagan sacrifice. It also contains abundant blood and gore. Both halves, of course, contain lots of R-rated, gratuitous foul language, along with Marty’s dope smoking habit. This last bit is played for laughs. Finally, at the end of the movie, the pagan evil behind everything in the story seems completely victorious. In fact, the movie’s ending shows that humanity has no hope and no future in the wake of this evil.
For all its uniqueness, therefore, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is just another abhorrent modern horror movie with all the same kind of evil content. In other words, the evil of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is, ultimately, rather boring.
MOVIEGUIDE® would also like to note that, because the beginning of the movie shows that the five college students and the zombies are being manipulated, the viewer stops caring what happens to the students. Also, zombies (like sympathetic vampires) are now so ubiquitous in pop culture that they’ve become dull and uninteresting. In contrast to all this, the character played by Jamie Lee Curtis in the original HALLOWEEN movie is sympathetic and heroic. And, she survives in the end (even though the monster returns in the sequel).
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is not as clever or brilliant as it thinks it is. And, it’s certainly not all that fun, much less inspiring, exciting, or cathartic.
The second half of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS contains revelations about mythical monsters, pagan gods, and pagan sacrifice. It also contains abundant blood and gore. Both halves, of course, contain lots of R-rated, gratuitous foul language, along with marijuana use. For all its unique monsters, both human and non-human, CABIN IN THE WOODS is just another abhorrent, obscenity-filled, modern horror movie. Thus, demonic evil wins out in the end. Now, that’s truly boring, not just horrific.