"An Abhorrent Exercise in Excess"
What You Need To Know:
In AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER, Mike Myers’ salacious spy returns for the third time. After an introductory sequence where Austin Powers tackles Hollywood, the authorities call Austin into action to thwart Dr. Evil’s plan to make a tractor beam that will be used to melt the ice caps and destroy the earth. Teaming up with a mysterious pervert from Amsterdam, Goldmember, who’s also played by Myers, Dr. Evil hatches a time traveling scheme that involves the kidnapping of Nigel Powers, Austin’s father and England’s most renowned spy. Austin follows the dastardly trail to 1975, where he joins forces with his old flame, Foxxy Cleopatra, played by one of the members of the musical group Destiny’s Child.
GOLDMEMBER can be very funny when it’s not being salacious and vulgar. Regrettably, however, it’s full of all sorts of verbal, and some visual, gags regarding gross bodily functions, body parts and immoral or perverted sexual acts. Thus, many, if not most, moviegoers will not know whether to laugh, get sick, be disgusted, or get mad. This probably will take their attention away from the more enjoyable parts of the movie. Ultimately, GOLDMEMBER is an abhorrent exercise in excess
(PaPaPa, Ho, B, C, LLL, VV, SSS, NN, A, M) Strong pagan worldview with some homosexual and some moral and redemptive elements involving father and son relationships and turning away from evil, but all done in a comical, irreverent mode; about 35 obscenities (including bleeped “f” words and saying foreign names that sound like an “f” word), 2 strong profanities, one mild profanity in song over credits, and many, many verbal and some visual references to private parts, sexual perversions, bodily functions, urine, and human feces, including unmentionable gross ones; some action violence such as machine guns firing and explosions and lots of slapstick, comical violence such as taller man fights with midget and sumo wrestler unrealistically throws another wrestler across the ring; mostly verbal references to oral sex, masturbation, gross fetishes, fornication, actual homosexuality, etc.; rear nudity, lots of cleavage, upper male nudity, and references to men dropping their pants; alcohol use; no smoking; and, miscellaneous immorality such as sibling rivalry and fathers and sons get angry with each other.
In the 1960s, funnyman Mel Brooks helped create a spoof of spy movies for television, called GET SMART. One of the funniest series from that time period, GET SMART still stands up today as brilliant comedy. Later, of course, Mel Brooks went on to make such hit movies as BLAZING SADDLES and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN.
A few years ago, Mike Myers of TV’s SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, WAYNE’S WORLD and the voice of SHREK followed in Brooks’ footsteps by creating a movie spy spoof about a lustful British secret agent named Austin Powers. The movie became a big hit and the sequel was even bigger. Salacious spy Austin Powers returns for the third time in a new comedy this summer, entitled AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER. Co-written by and starring Mike Myers in four different roles, the movie is rated only PG-13, but is far more perverted than anything Mel Brooks ever did, including BLAZING SADDLES, which was rated R. The fact that BLAZING SADDLES was rated R and GOLDMEMBER is only rated PG-13 shows how corrupt the Motion Picture Association of America’s ratings system has become. Despite all the uproar about marketing salacious, violent movies to children and teenagers, the MPAA continues to play footloose and fancy free with this alleged information system for parents. Of course, the MPAA is directed by the seven major studios in Hollywood, so the people who are really to blame are the folks at Disney, Universal, Warner Bros., Paramount, MGM, Columbia/Sony, and 20th Century Fox, not to mention the American public, which puts up with this assault on their children and grandchildren.
It is still a shame, however, that Myers feels the need to cram his movie with all sorts of verbal, and some visual, gags regarding gross bodily functions, body parts and immoral or perverted sexual acts. As he clearly demonstrated in SHREK and in the clean parts of this movie, Myers is perfectly capable of putting on a very funny, inoffensive display of wild comedy, but he seems to take more joy in seeing how much dirty material the censors will let him put into this PG-13 movie. For example, GOLDMEMBER starts with a hilarious spoof of how Hollywood might make a movie of Austin Powers, if Austin were a real life character. The movie then continues with a couple crazy, funny musical numbers that include Austin singing and dancing. At another point, however, Myers and the filmmakers include a scene where it looks as if Austin is urinating in someone’s mouth. In another scene, Myers uses a pair of beautiful Japanese twins to see how many times they can say two Japanese names that sound like the use of an “f” word but really aren’t. This is truly abhorrent.
By the way, after the intro mentioned above, the plot of the movie shows Austin called into action to thwart Dr. Evil’s plan to make a tractor beam that will be used to melt the ice caps and destroy the earth. Dr. Evil teams up with a mysterious pervert and criminal mastermind from the Netherlands, Goldmember, who’s also played by Myers. They hatch a time traveling scheme that involves the kidnapping of Nigel Powers, Austin’s father and England’s most renowned spy. Austin follows the dastardly trail to 1975, where he joins forces with his old flame, Foxxy Cleopatra, played by one of the members of the musical group Destiny’s Child. As they fight the forces of evil, it becomes clear that Austin has issues with his father, who neglects his son.
GOLDMEMBER is so salacious and vulgar at times that many, if not most, moviegoers will not know whether to laugh, get sick, be disgusted, or get mad. This probably will take their attention away from the more enjoyable parts of the movie. Ultimately, GOLDMEMBER is an abhorrent exercise in excess.