What You Need To Know:
The premise in I MELT WITH YOU is pointlessly bleak and vile. The four male leads are obnoxious, repellent examples of the worst humanity has to offer. Also, the almost nonexistent, lengthy storyline takes a full hour to have any narrative drive. Finally, I MELT WITH YOU ends up romanticizing the suicidal behavior of its vile lead characters, who will undoubtedly be melting together for an eternity in perdition.
(HHH, PaPaPa, HoHoHo, LLL, VVV, SSS, NN, AAA, DDD, MMM) Very strong humanist, nihilistic worldview with very strong anything-goes pagan behavior and very strong homosexual content; more than 200 obscenities and profanities including countless variations of the “f” word and taking God’s name in vain along with a liberal amount of other vulgarities and frequent graphic discussions of sexual behavior; graphic suicidal violence includes one of the lead “friends” killing another by graphically smothering him with a pillow after he begs to die, homosexual lead character found dead after hanging himself in a bathroom after engaging in a sexual threesome with a man and a woman, another lead male commits suicide by graphically plunging a drug-filled syringe into his arm in anguish after having a conversation in which his very young son calls his stepfather “Dad,” another character leaps to his death from an oceanside cliff after evading arrest from a policewoman and confessing that he murdered his friend, plus protagonists get drunk and cause a bar fight; extreme sexual content includes graphic sexual discussions, orgies, homosexual sex, women dance suggestively together, man has an sexual orgy with woman and man where woman says she’d have sexual relation with man’s sister if sister were still alive, implied sexual behavior; upper female nudity, rear male nudity, upper male nudity; extreme alcohol abuse and drunkenness; lots of smoking, massive cocaine use throughout, and men take a bag full of prescription drugs to use on hedonistic, suicidal trip, then two of the men become hopelessly addicted and desperate when they run out of drugs, leading to them stealing more medication from a drugstore after they are reduced to licking plastic baggies for the residue of previously inhaled drugs; and, woman says anything goes in life because our existence is just a stop on the way to the “nirvana” found in death, hedonism, lying repeatedly to the police, car may have been stolen, self-centered narcissism, men mock and ridicule local patrons in a bar they’re in, discussions of one financier’s highly illegal financial transactions that have brought on a federal investigation which inspires him to ask his friend to kill him, and it’s revealed that the four male protagonists took a blood oath while in college 25 years before that, if any of them was dissatisfied with their lives and wanted to die at any point later in life, they would all “die as one.”
I MELT WITH YOU is perhaps the year’s most vile movie, and a strong contender for status as one of the most offensive, boring movies ever released by mainstream American cinema. Containing a nihilistic humanist, pagan worldview in addition to strong homosexual content, I MELT WITH YOU’s almost-nonexistent storyline takes a full hour to have any true narrative drive.
Basically, it follows four supposedly average American middle-aged males. They are: high school writing teacher named Richard, a doctor named Jonathan whose entire practice has come to revolve around selling prescription drugs illegally, a financier named Ron who’s about to be arrested, and their homosexual friend, Tim, who’s mourning his unexplained part in the death of his lover five years before. The four men signed a mysterious pact as a blood oath while they were in college 25 years before.
As they engage in a numbing array of drugs, alcohol, and sexual behavior throughout the movie’s pointlessly indulgent first hour, glimmers of their inner hopelessness seep through and it briefly appears that the movie might wind up exploring how off-track they are in every way. Instead, [SPOILER ALERT] the story winds up completely romanticizing the men’s behavior, even as the homosexual abruptly commits suicide by hanging himself in the bathroom after a sexual threesome, the financier asks the writer to smother him to death with a pillow, the doctor commits suicide by intentional drug overdose, and the writer finally dives off a cliff into the ocean to choose death over capture by a policewoman. This final suicide leads to the last-moment revelation that the oath entailed that the men would agree to “die as one” if any one of them ever decided life wasn’t fun enough anymore.
Although the movie’s premise is pointless and bleak, and the four male leads are obnoxious, repellent examples of the worst humanity has to offer, writer Grant Porter and director Mark Pellington (who previously directed the similarly dark and anti-suburban ARLINGTON ROAD, among other things) end up completely romanticizing the decisions the men have made. Even secular-minded viewers will be at a loss to find anything of value in this hopeless exercise. Moviegoers perhaps can only find comfort in the fact that this movie, which was honored with screenings at the prestigious Sundance Film Festival, was only able to procure the barest of theatrical distribution deals and probably will spend most of whatever life it has trapped in the DVD and video-on-demand realms.
Despite its normally talented cast of leads, who have all delivered solid work in the past, I MELT WITH YOU is one movie that’s a must to avoid for anyone, literally anyone, as its lead characters will undoubtedly be melting together for an eternity in Hell.