"This Train Goes Places You Don’t Want To Go"
What You Need To Know:
Jack Black and James Marsden give solid, even complex performances as Dan and Oliver in THE D TRAIN. However, the movie has an abhorrent premise: that a secret homosexual liaison and wild nights of partying and substance abuse can empower and improve one’s life. The movie also has a contemptible amount of lying and deception. THE D TRAIN may be unpredictable and sometimes funny in spite of itself, but it’s an abhorrent movie that media-wise viewers will want to avoid.
(PaPaPa, HoHoHo, B, C, LLL, SS, NN, AAA, DDD, MMM) Very strong pagan, homosexual, lawless worldview overtly suggesting that immoral hedonism can “empower” a person, with very slight moral, redemptive elements at the end, especially between protagonist and his wife, who forgives him; at least 110 obscenities and profanities; no violence; depicted sodomy and a depicted lap dance, with one of two main characters being bisexual and having a “whatever” and “anything goes” attitude toward sex; partial upper and rear female nudity, female cleavage, upper and rear male nudity; very strong alcohol abuse; movie extols marijuana and cocaine use; and, man lies repeatedly to his wife and boss and being “cool” is a primary objective.
THE D TRAIN is a well acted and unpredictable, but downright weird and ultimately abhorrent, comedy about a suburban loser who tries to become cool for the first time by convincing the coolest guy from his high school class to come to their 20-year reunion, only to have it lead to a homosexual fling. Despite some clean comedy, THE D TRAIN has a very strong pagan, homosexual worldview with a lot of foul language and crude content, including substance abuse.
The story follows a middle-aged loser named Dan, who was nicknamed the “D Man” in high school. He is married to a woman who bores him and has an unappreciative teenage son, works a job that bores him and has volunteered to be leader of the committee organizing his high school’s 20-year reunion. When few people show interest in returning for the reunion, Dan sees the former high school quarterback, Oliver Lawless, who was the most popular guy in their class, acting in a silly commercial for suntan lotion. So, Dan now thinks the quarterback is star.
Dan hatches a plan. He will go to Los Angeles, meet Oliver and convince him to come back to the reunion, so that Oliver’s presence will draw lots of other classmates to come. To do this, Dan lies to his boss extensively, creates a false client in Los Angeles, and tells him he’ll go to LA to finish the deal. However, the boss complicates things by asking to tag along, and Dan also is lying to his wife about why he’s really going as well.
When Dan meets Oliver, he doesn’t realize that Oliver is a debauched loser whose only break ever has been the lotion commercial. Desperate to feel important, Oliver takes Dan out for night after night of partying, and the two wind up engaging in homosexual sex one night. Oliver is nonchalant about it and sends Dan home like a used piece of meat.
With Dan’s lies piling up problems for himself, he finds that Oliver suddenly wants to go to the reunion.
Jack Black and James Marsden turn in solid, even complex performances as Dan and Oliver in THE D TRAIN, but the movie has an abhorrent premise: that a secret homosexual liaison and wild nights of partying and substance abuse can empower and improve one’s life. The movie also has a contemptible amount of lying and deception.
THE D TRAIN may be unpredictable and sometimes funny in spite of itself, but it’s an abhorrent movie that media-wise viewers will want to avoid.
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