THE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE
Starring: Cheech Marin, Emma Samms, &
Runtime: Approximately 90 minutes
Distributor: Taurus Entertainment
Director: Alan Smithee
Producer: R. Ben Efraim
Writer: Grant Morris
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Carlos waits on wealthy, upper-class Alexandra and her fiance, Bruce, star of the XXXX beer commercial. Alexandra's father, disdainful of oafish Bruce, forbids his daughter to marry him. As a concession, he agrees not to say a word about the next man she chooses to marry.
Guess whom she chooses. Our man Carlos, who for $5,000 agrees to be his coarse, obscene, obnoxious best in order to appease Alexandra's lust for revenge on her father. Waltzing onto the premises of Alexandra's rich, stuffy parents, the jokes are what you might expect: an unfunny jumble of gutter humor. Carlos spits on people, urinates in public, ogles maids, acts crude and coarse, serves tennis balls into an opposing player's groin, and so on. Dad learns of the ruse, however, and plays along.
Bruce, meanwhile, fornicates with Alexandra's best friend. Carlos is a partial witness, and when a bribe fails, Bruce beats him up. Photos of the whole affair end up in Dad's possession, which he shows to Alexandra. Coming to her senses, father and daughter reconcile, then Alexandra exposes Bruce for the fornicator and vile person that he is. Carlos presumably returns to the Manana Restaurant, when an anonymous food critic to whom Carlos was nice repays the favor by endorsing him on TV.
If you have an IQ of -3 or if you are brain dead, you probably won't mind or be offended by this film. However, if you are at least comatose, or have an IQ of -2 or higher, you will be.
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