How to Raise Your Kids with a Healthy Relationship with Technology

Published: July 15, 2025

child screen video game phone — Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko via Pexels

By Gavin Boyle

Many parents stress about how to raise children who have a healthy relationship with technology, and thankfully child-safety internet experts exist to provide tips for these worried moms and dads.

“There are so many areas of life where we delay — sex, alcohol, credit cards, driving a car, etc. These are things we’ve normalized are not good for kids. But we haven’t yet normalized that tech use and smartphones were created for adults,” said experts Julie Scelfo and Julie Fruman, experts from Mothers Against Media Addiction (MAMA), who advocate for parents to delay giving their children devices. “Studies show that delaying giving a kid their first smartphone leads to higher levels of resilience and life satisfaction and lower levels of distress in adulthood.”

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These positive benefits occur, at least in part, because of the negative effects they avoid. Numerous studies have pointed to dozens of harms from high screen time on developing brains including lower cognitive function, delayed brain development and higher rates of anxiety and depression.

At the same time, children miss out on crucial parts of childhood when they are on their screens all day, rather than interacting with the real world and with real people.

“The brain is actually 90% of its full size by the time you’re 6 years old, so it’s not about growth beyond that. It’s about actually pruning out neurons that don’t get used and emphasizing and ultimately myelinating or sort of insulating the circuits that do get used; so play has to occur over a long period of time,” psychologist Jonathan Haidt told Jordan B. Peterson when explaining why replacing play with tech is so detrimental.

“Now what’s happening, you’re lonely. Sure, you’re connected to 200 people, but it’s very shallow. You’re not laughing with anyone, and they’re all replaceable,” Haidt added. “Did you ever read a book when you were a kid? Take 50 or 70% of those out. Did you ever have a hobby? Take almost all of those out. There’s no time for books; there’s no time for hobbies. The amount of stuff coming in that you have to respond to and know is beyond what anyone can do in a day. So once you give your kid a smartphone and Instagram or TikTok or Snapchat, that’s sort of the end of what we might have thought of as a normal childhood.”

Removing technology altogether, though, is not a viable strategy for all parents. In that case, experts also have much advice on the apps and games parents should avoid their kids downloading such as TikTok and Snapchat or Roblox and Fortnite.

Additionally, experts advise parents to keep a close watch on their child’s device and have regular conversations with them about what they see online and who they interact with so parents can flag any unusual behavior. While the task may seem daunting, it is not impossible for parents to raise children with a healthy relationship with technology.

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