CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE is an insult to the intelligence of the mentally handicapped. It’s one of the worst action movies ever made, ranking even lower than HUDSON HAWK starring Bruce Willis, who, by the way, plays a small cameo in this one. At least HUDSON HAWK had halfway decent photography and special effects.
The story of FULL THROTTLE involves two titanium rings that, when put together, reveal the names of all the people the federal government has put into its Witness Protection Program. Charlie, the ephemeral boss of Natalie, Alex and Dylan, orders the girls to retrieve the rings for the government and solve the murder of one witness who was murdered after both rings were stolen. As they pursue the rings, the girls have to protect another witness, who turns out to be a teenage boy, and fight off a gang of tough Irish criminals. In the midst of all this, they run into a former angel, Madison, played by Demi Moore, and discover a secret about Dylan, whose real name is Helen Zaas.
One major film critic has called this movie “slick,” but that adjective gives FULL THROTTLE so much credit that one has to wonder what the critic must have been smoking or drinking while he was watching this piece of junk. FULL THROTTLE not only features some of the worst cinematography ever in a major motion picture, it also contains some of the worst CGI, special effects, and stunt work among the recent entries in the action genre. In fact, these things are made so badly that FULL THROTTLE couldn’t even make it on a list of “fun” bad movies, it’s so unwatchable. Even the titillation scenes with the young women, not to mention Demi Moore’s bronzed physique, can overcome the bad photography. This is particularly perplexing because the movie wastes few moments trying to promote the sensuality of Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, and Ms. Moore in skimpy or tight clothing. Some of the action scenes are so over-the-top that the movie quickly loses credibility, and never regains it, as if the filmmakers were trying to remake some of the worst low-budget Chinese action movies, but with a Hollywood budget rivaling the James Bond movies.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE is filled with crude sexual jokes, double entendres, and puns. For instance, there are supposedly humorous references to oral sex, lesbianism, pubic hair, prostitution, and sadomasochism. The references are so crude, campy, off the wall, and prevalent, that they constantly interrupt what little semblance of story and character development that occurs.
Furthermore, the movie is filled with stupid cameos from minor celebrities. In one cameo, John Cleese plays Alex’s father, who thinks Alex, Dylan, and Natalie are prostitutes working for a pimp named Charlie. Actually, of course, all the actors and filmmakers involved with this movie are prostitutes, working for a pimp named Hollywood. The less said about the acting, the better – at least for the actors appearing in this mess.
All in all, the CHARLIE’S ANGEL sequel is more than just silly, it’s painfully, excruciatingly fatuous. To quote William Shatner from a cameo in a recent country western video on TV, the best part of the movie is the end, when it comes to a stop.
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John Calley, Chairman/CEO
Sony Pictures Entertainment
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SUMMARY: In CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, the three female detectives must foil the evil plans of a former Charlie’s Angel, played by Demi Moore, who’s come out of semi-retirement. CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE may be one of the most poorly made action movies ever, and it’s filled with crude, offensive, campy sexual jokes.
(PaPa, B, Ho, LLL, VV, SSS, NN, A, M) Fatuous, campy, pagan worldview, with some moral elements and lesbian references; about 25 obscenities; one strong profanity, and four light profanities; plenty of strong action violence includes many martial arts fights, brawling, explosions, crashing through glass, machine gun fire, flame thrower, motorcycle crashes, man’s chest stabbed with sword, and shootings; many crude sexual references and puns about oral sex, lesbianism, pubic hair, prostitution, male and female sex organs, and sado-masochism, including several vulgar jokes about a girl’s father thinking that his daughter is a very active prostitute; rear female nudity, women in bikinis, women in revealing sado-masochistic outfits, and female cleavage shots; alcohol; no smoking; and, stealing and other criminal activity rebuked.
GENRE: Detective Thriller/Sex Comedy