What You Need To Know:
(B, M) A chaste romance, family values and a refreshing marriage proposal marred only by brief locker room shots of women in underwear.
I DON’T BUY KISSES ANYMORE depicts a refreshingly chaste romance. The “kisses” are chocolate ones bought in large amounts by 30-year-old Bernie Fishbine, a shoe store owner in suburban Philadelphia. Having put on 30 pounds, Bernie desires real kisses from someone who cares. Living at home with his overbearing mom and his outspoken grandfather, Bernie meets Tress Carabaldi: an attractive, Italian-American student working on her Masters in Psychology. When Tress meets Bernie, she thinks he would make an interesting subject for her studies. Bernie, however, becomes so infatuated with Tress that he joins her health club and sheds the flab. Tress realizes that Bernie’s personality more than makes up for his looks. She repents of her initial deception. Bernie also realizes the lure of a pretty face isn’t the only reason he should take care of his body. The movie ends with a clever marriage proposal.
Family ties are presented in a positive light, through not without conflict. Undermining much of this virtue are slight technical flaws that a stronger budget might have corrected. Even so, I DON’T BUY KISSES ANYMORE is wholesome entertainment reminiscent of the Golden Age of Hollywood.