Obama’s Birth Certificate: Has Anyone Tried Hollywood?

By Jeff Holder

If you believe the reports, seemingly scores of investigators have been looking for President Obama’s birth certificate to prove his citizenship.

We can only imagine piles and piles of documents being searched and no file drawer left unopened to see if the certificate was filed under “Ubama” instead of “Obama” or even filed under “Hussein” (and we don’t mean the guy with the funny mustache from Iraq).

But, the most obvious solution to find this missing document may be right under our noses. No, it’s not Donald Trump. It’s Hollywood.

Hollywood has spent much money, time, talent, and special effects looking for lost things. In fact, “Raiders of the LOST Ark” is still ranked as an all-time favorite movie. Should Lucas and Spielberg be needing another sequel story (perhaps five is the charm. . .), Indy can set out to Hawaii in search of the certificate. There, he could partner with Magnum P.I., or something.

Or couldn’t the certificate be described as a “National Treasure”? Aren’t we about due for another sequel from Nic Cage and the gang? In fact, it might work out if the birth certificate was found and in the end they give the certificate to Obama – along with a copy of the Constitution. Seems it’s been awhile since he’s read either.

Hollywood is the answer to the “birther” issue. We know that things being “lost” is an all time winner for Hollywood, especially on TV. In fact, we may all wake up to discover that we’ve crash landed on a mysterious island where the “Gilligan’s Island” premise has come true. Except that Obama is the Skipper. Characters can spend season after season looking for the birth certificate but in this version it turns out that Joe Biden is actually from Kenya. It’s confusing but a ratings winner.

But, maybe the best reason that Hollywood should be put in charge of the birth certificate is that they are really good at making something out of nothing. But, that’s a whole other story.