Hollywood Actor Urges Men to Fight Back Against Pornography
By Diana Tyler
“I’m calling on men to be more accountable. This is one of those ‘man up’ kind of things.”
So said Terry Crews in a recent Facebook post titled “Dirty Little Secret Part 2,” a candid eight-minute video in which the former NFL player and well-liked actor discusses how he overcame his addiction to pornography.
In Part 1, Crews opened up about his titular “dirty little secret,” how it nearly ended his marriage, and why he’s so passionate about helping other men beat it. The actor, whose films include FRIDAY AFTER NEXT and the EXPENDABLES series, shed unequivocal light on the pornography epidemic by sharing, from personal experience, just how toxic and insidious it really is.
“This thing has become a problem,” Crews said while speaking out against the widespread use of porn. “Pornography really, really messed up my life in a lot of ways.”
Crews represents just one of the millions of people who regularly watch porn. According to Covenant Eyes, an Internet filtering service, a quarter of a billion people are expected to access mobile adult content from their phones or tablets in 2017, an increase of more than 30% from 2013. One in five mobile searches is for pornography, and 24% of smartphone owners admit to having pornographic material on their mobile handset.
“It was my secret. Nobody knew, and that allowed it to grow,” Crews continued, addressing the Internet’s ability to hide his habit. “By not telling people, it becomes more powerful, but when you tell, and you put it out there in the open, it loses its power.”
In one particularly insightful moment, Crews spoke about the harmful effects porn has on one’s relationships. “[Porn] changes the way you think about people. People become objects. They become body parts and things to be used, rather than people to be loved.”
After his wife confronted him about his behavior, Crews made a decision to do something about it. “Once I was aware of what it was doing to me, it changed me,” he said. “And I knew I had to stop.”
Crews then emphasized that he did not seek help simply as a means to get his wife back. He underscored the fact that men must make the decision for themselves out of a sincere, heartfelt desire to make a lasting change.
“It’s not enough to just ask forgiveness. It’s always necessary to make amends, to fix the problem. To do whatever you can to fix the problem.”
A few days ago, Crews posted Part 2 to his Facebook page after receiving an influx of questions from viewers of Part 1, questions mostly concerned with what to do if your husband has a porn addiction.
“I went to therapy big time,” said Crews. “I didn’t know how to beat it. I couldn’t do it alone.”
Crews pointed out two key lessons he learned in therapy, the first being that he needed to be conscious of what was triggering him to visit porn sites. “I was told I needed to become more aware,” he said. “Being aware is really just about knowing how you feel, knowing where you are in a particular moment. I had to realize when I was depressed, or when I was feeling sad about something, or when I was feeling lonely.”
The second topic he addressed was that of shame, and the importance of not letting porn become your identity. “One thing everybody has to realize is you can’t survive with guilt and shame. Shame is something that says you are bad. Guilt says you’ve done a bad thing … Shame doesn’t say you did something bad; shame says you are bad. When you think and believe that you are bad, there’s no way out.”
Crews also had a strong word of encouragement for women who may feel apprehensive about talking to their significant other about his addiction. “ … What women have to do is be fearless. Women need to confront [men] about this problem. You cannot accept it. My wife did not accept it, and it was a wakeup call for me.”
At the end of the video, Crews talked about the importance of taking responsibility for one’s own actions rather than blame-shifting and making excuses. “A true man and a true woman is a person who takes responsibility,” he said. “There’s a lot of men that are blaming their wives for this … As a man, you have to take total responsibility for everything in your life, good and bad.”
Terry Crews’ unabashed boldness in speaking about such a destructive and pervasive spiritual sickness in our nation is a breath of fresh air in social media and the entertainment industry at large. We at MOVIEGUIDE® are thankful that he is using his platform to inspire and encourage others to open up and speak up about the struggles and strongholds in their lives. We hope that these videos, as well as the ones forthcoming Crews plans to make, will convict men and women who are battling an addiction and motivate them to repent and make proactive strides toward healing and restoration.
Source: https://www.facebook.com/realterrycrews/videos; CoventantEyes.com
Diana Anderson-Tyler is the author of multiple books on Faith and Fitness and she is a co-owner and coach at CrossFit 925. Diana can be found on Twitter here.
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