By Michaela Gordoni
Terry Crews was addicted to pornography and torn by guilt, but he turned around when he heard God’s voice.
“I…established a pattern where anytime I was dealing with anxiety, I acted out with pornography,” Crews wrote in his memoir of his addiction. “On the one hand, I felt bad because I knew I shouldn’t do so, but at the same time, it was exhilarating, a rush, like taking a drug.”
“I went to a massage parlor, and I said I will never ever tell,” he recalled on “The Deep End with Lecrae” podcast. “This is the Hollywood story. The whole thing is fake it till you make it, but when you make it, you’re still fake.”
His wife, Rebecca King Crews, recalled being in another state. “I’m in the van with the baby, talking to Jesus, and I hear ‘Your husband has cheated on you, and he’ll never tell you.'”
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He was at the Mercer Hotel in Soho, New York. It felt more like a prison as Crews felt wrecked with guilt for cheating on his wife.
“Her call[s] just kept coming, and I felt the room’s [walls] kept getting closer and closer,” he recalled. “Hear me when I say this, God said, He said, ‘If you don’t tell her, I’m done with you. I’m giving you one shot.'”
When he answered, she said, “What don’t I know about you Terry Crews!?”
His wife told him if he didn’t get help, their marriage would have to end.
“My wife was literally like, ‘I don’t know you anymore. I’m outta here.’ And that changed me,” he said. “Because you realize: Yo, this is a major, major problem. I literally had to go to rehab for it…Once I was aware of what it was doing to me, it changed me.”
He said one of the most dangerous things about his addiction, besides affecting his marital purity and relationship, is that it changes your views on people.
“People become objects. People become body parts. They become things to be used, rather than people to be loved,” he explained.
He learned, “You can’t survive with guilt and shame. Guilt says you did a bad thing. Shame says you are bad, and that’s bad because you act accordingly.”
Now, Crews boldly lets his addiction story be a lesson to others. He shows that life is better when you live it how God intends.
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