Unfunny, Occult-Themed Spoof
Starring: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter,
Diedrich Bader, Christopher N.
Riggi, Arielle Kebble, B.J.
Britt, Charlie Weber, Emily
Brobst, Bradley Dodds, and Ken
Audience: Older teenagers and adults
Runtime: 82 minutes
Distributor: 20th Century Fox/News Corp.
Director: Jason Friedberg and Aaron
Executive Producer: None
Producer: Peter Safran
Writer: Jason Friedberg and Aaron
Address Comments To:Rupert Murdoch, Chairman/CEO, News Corp.
Chase Carey, President/COO, News Corp.
Tom Rothman and Jim Gianopulos, Chairmen/CEO
Fox Filmed Entertainment
20th Century Fox Film Corp. (Fox Searchlight Pictures/Fox Atomic/FoxFaith)
10201 West Pico Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90035
Phone: (310) 369-1000
The story follows Becca, an angst-ridden teenager who is torn between two guys – Edward, the mysterious and brooding pale-skinned vampire who longs to suck Becca’s blood but must resist out of his love for her and Jacob, the handsome young man who follows Becca around like a puppy, probably because he’s a werewolf. Before the prom, Becca must decide who she will love, Edward or Jacob. Meanwhile, she must also deal with her ignorant father, a pack of killer vampires and her raging hormones.
VAMPIRES SUCK is a ridiculous, lowbrow, poorly executed, unfunny parody. The movie’s only redeeming aspect is that it’s a brief 82 minutes. From the opening scene to the closing credits, the movie is not creative or fulfilling in any way. With a poor script loosely based on the TWILIGHT SAGA, inconsistent performances from the cast, cheap schtick from the directors and immoral teen content, the movie is neither a good satire nor a successful spoof.
The movie also contains excessive amounts of pagan and occult worldview elements as well as foul language and inappropriate sexual content and dialogue among the teenage characters. Included are several homosexual jokes and references, vampirism, bloodletting and violence (though the violence is mostly slapstick comedy such as pratfalls). The movie also mocks the wait-until-marriage message in the TWILIGHT SAGA. In practically every way, VAMPIRES SUCK is an abhorrent movie.
In practically every way, VAMPIRES SUCK is an abhorrent movie. It is a ridiculous, lowbrow, poorly executed, unfunny parody with lots of objectionable content. The new vampire movies and television programs certainly deserve a good, funny parody, but this movie is definitely not it! Please spend your money on something else. Or, better yet (considering the current economy), save it for a rainy day. If you still insist on finding a good movie to watch, however, please consult movieguide.org for the latest in positive, uplifting entertainment choices for you and your family.