Artist Ben Fuller on Overcoming Addiction, Meeting ‘The Savior that Saved My Life’
By Movieguide® Contributor
As a child, Christian artist Ben Fuller wanted to be a country singer, but “God had other plans.” He opened up about his “roller coaster ride” life on the “Jesus Calling” podcast.
Before pursuing a musical career, he was born and raised in Vermont, where he worked on the family’s dairy farm.
“[T]here was a lot of pressure from my father on me to perform and to work harder, and there were always things to be done. 180 black and white Holstein cows require a full-time job,” Fuller remembered.
He said that he had a “tough relationship” with his dad that stemmed from how his father was raised.
“[My father] was raised by his father that men are tough and men are strong, and you can’t show emotion because emotion shows weakness,” he said. “And so there were a lot of times I just wanted to hear ‘I love you,’ and I never heard it.”
“I don’t blame my father for that, because he was doing the best that he knew how,” Fuller added.
He eventually started drinking heavily with his friends— sometimes drinking 15 to 20 beers a night.
“I had a lot of friends that drank, and it was just sort of a normal thing,” Fuller said. “But for me, however, I just couldn’t put it down. And I was very good at hiding it.”
He went on to study landscape design at the same time he picked up the guitar. He found success playing cover songs in bars and restaurants.
“[P]eople were showing up to hear their favorite cover songs, their favorite country songs. I basically was like this human jukebox, if you will. And people just loved it,” he said.
His addiction began to worsen after he graduated college and started to use cocaine while still drinking heavily.
It would take the death of his close friend, Ryan, to a heroin overdose to realize that he couldn’t fight his addiction on his own.
“I think that that is the thing about addiction, is that so many people try to quit on their own or find other things to take the place of those bad things, like working out or a new job or a new town, or new friends even,” Fuller said. “I’m just like, ‘What else is there? There’s got to be something more.’”
It wasn’t until he was reacquainted with a family he knew from Vermont, the Davenports, who had moved to Nashville about a year before he did that he would find the “something more” that would free him from his addiction.
“They invited me over [for dinner] just the way that I was, and they didn’t try to get me to clean up my act. They didn’t tell me what I was doing wrong,” Fuller said.
The Davenports invited him to church the next day where he was immediately touched by the worship.
“In that moment of hearing the music and the worship and seeing everyone’s hands in the air and just feeling the Holy Spirit tangible in the room, it was like, this is what I’ve been looking for” he recalled.
That day, he met the One that could set him free.
“Well, if you are who they say you are, then fix me. Help me,” he cried out to God. “Over the course of two and a half months — I mean, the sanctification process is obviously ongoing forever — but my alcohol habit, drugs, sleeping around just ceased.”
“That changed everything, that spared me from certain death. I can share now — as 37-year-old Ben to the 16-year-old Ben — and say, ‘Hey, I found the thing you’re looking for, and His name is Jesus,'” Fuller said.
From his new life in Christ, he learned that it was okay to be honest and vulnerable — something that he struggled with in the past.
“It’s the opposite of being big and strong and muscled and a leader and all these things. My Savior, His last few days on earth, He’s washing filthy feet and He’s spending His night with a leper. That’s the Savior that saved my life,” Fuller said.
He often posts inspirational messages and clips sharing his testimony on social media. Fuller was hesitant to post an especially vulnerable video sharing how he nearly committed suicide at 16 years old until his father sent him an unexpected text message.
“I was nervous to post this, but you know what? My dad texted me Sunday morning and it said, ‘I love you.’ Don’t ever underestimate that God can and God will,” he posted.
On the “Jesus Calling” podcast, the up-and-coming Christian artist shared the inspiration behind one of his songs “If I Got Jesus.” He said:
I don’t know if I could write a more honest song. I remember the day that we wrote it, Jeff Pardo, Ethan Hulse, and I were in a room together, and we were just talking about the things that could be taken away from you. Can you have the world taken away from you, and will you be okay with that? Will you be okay with just Jesus? And, it’s like, Wow, that’s powerful to think about because no, I love my truck and I like my new shirt that I got. It’s like, but would it be okay if Jesus is all that you had?
Fuller asked AMERICAN IDOL alum Megan Danielle to re-record the song after she did a cover of it. Danielle shared her excitement about the duet.
“In late ’23, I was asked if I would be interested in opening for @bendfuller. my jaw literally dropped and after hearing this song for the first time, I cried and cried. I made a video and was asked if I would want to sing on it and still, I am just in shock,” Danielle posted. “This song touched my heart because the message is so powerful and relatable. If all we have is Jesus, that’s all we’ll ever need.”
Movieguide® recently reported on their collaboration:
“I couldn’t help but just believe her every word when I heard [Megan] sing a cover of ‘If I Got Jesus,’” Fuller said. “A few weeks later she was in the studio singing her heart. I’m privileged and humbled by your love for Jesus, Megan. What a gift you are to so many, and thanks again for singing with me.”
The song emphasizes the importance of a relationship with Jesus and how, through Him, you can overcome any trial that comes your way
Fuller and Danielle both have a heart for sharing the Gospel in a down-to-earth, relatable way rather than acting high and mighty.
Fuller’s past is full of sin through drugs, alcohol and past relationships, but rather than hide from his past now that he is a Christian, he leans into his past to help those stuck in a similar life to know there is a way out through Jesus.
