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How This GAF Star Supports Foster Care and Christian Families
By Movieguide® Contributor
Great American Family’s Jen Lilley has a big heart, which is easy to see in her life’s work as an actress, mom and foster care advocate.
Two of Lilley’s four children were in the foster system, and her organization, Christmas is Not Cancelled, was created to support kids who’ve been placed in foster care.
“The journey for me started as a child,” Lilley said. “My parents were kind of what I call unofficial foster parents. My dad was a judge and my mom was a director of a women and children’s charity.” Due to their roles, they weren’t legally allowed to foster, but that didn’t “stop them from having compassion,” Lilley said.
“Our home was kind of a rotating door at times for people that maybe just needed help transitioning and bridging in their life,” she said. “So, the idea of a child living in my home who wasn’t in my immediate family was not scary to me. For most people who go on the foster care adoption journey, there’s usually one spouse that’s like, ‘Let’s do this,’ and there’s another spouse that’s like, ‘You’re crazy.’”
Lilley became actively involved with foster care when she became an advocate through Childhelp.
“They’re one of the largest and longest-running nonprofits against child abuse and neglect in our country,” she said. “One of their programs that they have is called Special Friends, and it’s kind of like Big Brothers, Big Sisters, where you mentor a child.”
After Lilley got involved, she and her husband, Wayne, felt motivated to foster and adopt.
“When love is your motive, you have to look at these kids,” the actress said. “You can’t look away.”
Lilley previously spoke up for two Christian families who were blocked from providing foster care in Vermont due to their beliefs.
“This action not only violates our constitutional rights but also jeopardizes the well-being of children in dire need of safe, loving homes,” she said about Vermont’s actions in the pending lawsuit. “The government is deciding that it’s safer for a child to remain in a dangerous and potentially life-threatening situation than to live in a home with Christian beliefs? Make it make sense.”
READ MORE: JEN LILLEY CELEBRATES ‘WHOLESOME, UPLIFTING CONTENT’ AT 2025 MOVIEGUIDE® AWARDS
Last year, she spoke with a rep from the Vermont governor’s office to better understand their position.
“I was like…‘I just believe that there’s a seat at the table for everybody and…I think that, as long as your home is safe — truly safe — and is providing love, safety, and stability for these children, you should have a seat at that table,’” Lilley said. “If the issue is that you’re not going to allow Christians to foster because we don’t agree with the transgender [issue], well, then put those children with a family that will affirm that if that’s your fear. I don’t understand why you’re saying, ‘No, Christians can’t foster anymore.’ And so I said, ‘Wouldn’t you agree?’”
A representative said that the state isn’t “taking any seats from the table” and stated she doesn’t know of any Christians aside from those in the lawsuit, who don’t affirm transgender identity.
“I was like, ‘Oh man, so now you put me in the hot seat,’” Lilley recalled. “I said, ‘Well, I have to back up then and just let you know that I am one of the Christians that would not stand for that.’”
The person she was talking to rolled her eyes, and Lilley said one last thing before the conversation ended: “I do really hope — and this is my sincere hope — for the sake of all the children who need households and need safe, loving homes that this does not impact your ability to recruit more foster parents or retain more foster parents. We are in a crisis because we don’t have enough houses available. There are children sleeping in social workers’ offices all over this country or in shelters. Or, worse than that, remaining with an abuser who might kill them.”
Dr. John DeGarmo, director of The Foster Care Institute, made a similar point: “There are more children in crisis, yet there is a shortage of foster parents and foster care homes. Our states and government can not handle or address this issue on its own. Many foster parents state that their faith plays an important part in their foster parenting. If faith based organizations and people of faith are discouraged to help children in the foster care system, then we will lose a great percentage of foster parents and support services.”
The Vermont Department for Children and Families, Family Services Division, gave this statement to CBN:
The Department for Children and Families (DCF) does not comment on the specifics of pending lawsuits. That said, generally speaking, DCF takes the care and support of youth in our custody seriously, and we work to ensure that youth in foster care are placed in homes that support all aspects of what makes them who they are. This includes their sexual orientation and gender identity. The Department prioritizes the safety of children and youth and works with the larger community to be a partner, ally, and support system – rather than a barrier to the children and youth who identify as part of the LGBTQI+ community.
Research has demonstrated that LGBTQI+ youth in foster care have higher than average negative outcomes, to include substance abuse, human trafficking, and suicide. By ensuring our foster parents can provide safe and affirming care, we can improve outcomes for this group of kids, to be on par with their heterosexual and cis-gendered peers (refers to a gender identity that matches the sex assigned at birth). It is a human right for all to be valued, supported, and not face discrimination, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. The Family Services Division is here to serve all, and upholds that expectation for both its staff, as well as the foster parents who agree to assume the care of the youth in our custody.
We know that a child or youth may not share their sexual orientation or gender identity, even if asked. Further still, with the understanding that many children may not have fully figured out their sexual orientation and/or gender identity, an honestly answered question today may not reflect the honest feelings of those same children the next day. That given, it is our responsibility to ensure all children and youth will reside in a home with caregivers who are committed to fully embracing and holistically affirming and supporting them. We need assurance that the foster and kin care homes selected for our children and youth can honor these personal facets of their being when they choose to share them with us.
We are grateful for all of the wonderful foster and kin caregivers helping to care for Vermont’s children, including many of devout religious backgrounds committed to supporting and caring for vulnerable kids in need of a loving home. Providing safe, affirming, accepting and welcoming homes benefits all youth and it has the power to save lives.
As the potential for more Christians to become de-licensed looms, Lilley wonders if the church needs to take a more active role in foster care.
“Maybe that looks like the church stepping in before the government, opening up their homes as safe homes — that’s a thing,” Lilley said. “And how beautiful would that be if single moms, single dads, families that are going through crisis say, ‘I don’t have the ability to safely provide for my child,’ and the church steps up and says, ‘We have five homes within our church, how can we wrap around you? How can we serve you? How about we take care of your children and actually provide them love, stability, and safety?’”
Lilley encourages anyone interested in foster care to take an orientation class.
“I really believe that every single person was created on purpose, for a purpose — for this exact moment in time,” she said. “And I love looking at people’s differences, because we all reflect God and His nature. And I just think it’s so cool.”
“There are five to seven children that die every day in the United States due to abuse and neglect, and, a lot of times, it’s because there was no place to put them,” she said.
READ MORE: HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS SPEAKS UP FOR RIGHTS OF CHRISTIAN FOSTER PARENTS
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