What You Need To Know:
(Ro, B, LLL, V, SS, NN, A, D, M) Romantic worldview with moral conclusion; 35 obscenities, 15 profanities, & sexual talk; mild violence including falling, chasing & hitting; 1 attempted act of fornication in car, implied fornication & sexual innuendo; women in underwear & upper male nudity; alcohol use; smoking; and, lying & thieving
Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary play two thieves and lovers, Roz and Frank, in TWO IF BY SEA. Their job is to steal a famous painting and deliver it to a buyer on an upscale island. Their mode of transportation to the island is a ferry, hence the title. The movie starts out with Roz and Frank having an argument as they drive down a highway. Police follow but through quick maneuvering and some luck, the two escape. Frank’s criminal cousin Beano finds out that the painting is much more expensive than he had thought and travels to the island to intercept the sale. Meanwhile, Roz has fallen for the neighborhood womanizer, much to the frustration of Frank. Roz begins to enjoy the comforts of a law-abiding life and wants Frank to forsake his thieving ways. When the FBI agent and Beano close in on the sale, tables turn, causing Frank to reform his ways, reunite with Roz, and together they see a hopeful future.
This movie fails on almost every count. Leary is unappealing, and Bullock is waisted in a very lightweight role. At times, the dialogue is snappy, but much of it fails to excite. The worst part of this movie is the direction and editing. Though concluding morally, it is poorly contructed and contains a greal deal of bad language.