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Award-Wining Artist Billie Eilish Opens Up About Porn Addiction: ‘It Really Destroyed My Brain’

Photo from BillieEilish’s Instagram

Award-Wining Artist Billie Eilish Opens Up About Porn Addiction: ‘It Really Destroyed My Brain’

By Movieguide® Staff

Note: This article discusses pornography, sexual exploitation, and sexual violence.

Music sensation Billie Eilish recently shared her struggle with pornography addiction and called out porn as a “disgrace.”

The 19-year-old artist said she started watching pornography when she was 11 on THE HOWARD STERN SHOW.

“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace, and I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest,” she told Stern. “I started watching porn when I was 11. I didn’t understand why it was a bad thing. I thought that’s how you learn how to have sex.”

However, the “Ocean Eyes,” singer said that her early introduction to porn “devastated” her view of sex and relationships.

“I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” Eilish said. “I think that I had sleep paralysis, and these almost like night terrors, just nightmares. I think that’s how they started, because I would just watch abusive [pornography] and that’s what I thought was attractive, and it got to a point where I couldn’t watch anything unless it was violent, and I didn’t think it was attractive.”

“The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying ‘no’ to things that were not good,” Eilish continued. “And it was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to. I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was OK.

“Women’s bodies don’t look like that,” the celebrity added. “We don’t enjoy things that it looks like we’re enjoying.”

Eilish’s comments affirm what Movieguide® Founder and Dr. Ted Baehr researched about sexual violence in the media.

As Baehr writes in The Media-Wise Family: 

It is very important for families to understand that destructive sexual content is not just found in sleazy sex shops. Research has shown that the exposure of randomly selected male college students to sexually suggestive R-rated theatrical movies increases their aggressive behavior toward women and decreases both male and female sensitivity to rape and the plight of the victim. After viewing this type of material, both males and females judge a female rape victim to be less injured, less worthy and more responsible for her own plight.[viii]

Extensive research has been conducted on the aggressive pornography to be found in R-rated films. These movies are easily accessible to teenagers. Many of these movies are broadcast on cable TV. Many such movies show scantily clothed or nude females in sexually arousing situations being attacked, raped, tortured, etc. The research shows that male viewers can be conditioned by watching these movies into associating sexual arousal with inflicting injury, rape, humiliation, or torture on females. As Dr. Cline has noted, “Where these films are available on videotapes (which most are), these can be repeatedly viewed in the privacy of one’s residence and masturbated to with the associated risks of negative or antisocial conditioning noted above.”[ix]

This study, of course, has been made all the more frightening by the growth of internet pornography. As the internet grew from being merely a service for sending text data by modem into the primary video delivery method for the mass media of entertainment, its use for spreading pornography has become ubiquitous. The quantity, and high definition quality of, pornography has exploded and one of the results has been a growth in human sex slave trafficking. As the number of men driven to the depths of pornography soars, so too does the demand for “something more.”

Furthermore, sociologist Diana Russell states: “Pornography is vicious, anti-woman propaganda. It tells lies about us. It degrades women. Pornography is not made to educate but to sell, and for the most part, what it sells is a bunch of lies about sex and women. Women are portrayed as enjoying being raped, spanked or beaten, tied up, mutilated, enslaved, or they accept it as their lot as women to be victims of such experiences. In the less sadistic films, women are portrayed as turned on and sexually satisfied by doing anything and everything men order them to do and what this involves is for the most part totally contrary to what we know about female sexuality. i.e., it is almost totally. . . devoid of foreplay, tenderness, or caring, to say nothing of love and romance.”[xxii]

Exodus Cry notes the pervasiveness of pornography in today’s culture and its effect on minors. Not only is over-sexualization, violence, and sexual exploitation found on easily accessed adult sites, but also in TV, Movies, and on social media.

Movieguide® previously reported:

In their most recent campaign, Protect Children Not Porn, Exodus Cry is working to hold big tech and big porn companies accountable for exploiting minors for money.

On their social media, Exodus Cry shared stories from anonymous and named people who tell their personal stories of childhood exposure to porn.

“These are real stories of the damage of childhood exposure to pornography and they aren’t isolated incidents,” a new Exodus Cry video states. “The average age of exposure to porn, often accidental, is only 11-years-old. According to a cyber security company, 22 percent of all minors who consume pornography are under 10, 36 (percent) are between 10 and 14.”

The video also notes that the nature of the adult videos, which are easily accessible with little to no safety measures, is more graphic.

“Popular forms of porn are increasingly violent and abusive and the effects of exposure on our children are devastating,” the video continued. “Addiction, depression, suicidal thoughts, it shapes what children believe about sex, what is acceptable and desirable.”

“It normalizes sexual violence and increases the likelihood of sexually violent behavior and the reason that our children are being subjected to the harm of adult content is because there is virtually no age verification to prevent underage access,” the video explains. “Big tech and big porn have built a world with a complete disregard for our children’s safety.”

Eilish recently wrote a song about her struggle with a porn addiction called “Male Fantasy.” The lyrics read: “Home alone / Trying not to eat / Distract myself with pornography / I hate the way she looks at me / I can’t stand the dialogue / She would never be / That satisfied, it’s a male fantasy / I’m going back to therapy.”

Read More: After Pornhub’s Takedown, Is There a Renewed Hope for Redeeming Media?

Exodus Cry, whose push to protect children from big tech and media that seeks to exploit minors has made significant strides in the past year, recognized Eilish’s transparency and courage to share her story.

“The reality is, Billie’s story is the story of millions of young children who are exposed to porn, whose sexual templates are being shaped by violence and sex that’s void of consent,” Exodus Cry posted to Instagram. “We’re so encouraged to see a celebrity of Billie’s status and age (she’s only 19) speak out boldly about the way porn is destroying the lives of children. This is what our campaign to #ProtectChildrenNotPorn is all about!”

Here are some of Movieguide®’s resources on how to use media discernment with your children and protect them from sexual violence:

Read More: Pornhub Execs Face Allegations of ‘Monetizing Rape, Child Abuse, and Trafficked Content’

Now more than ever we’re bombarded by darkness in media, movies, and TV. Movieguide® has fought back for almost 40 years, working within Hollywood to propel uplifting and positive content. We’re proud to say we’ve collaborated with some of the top industry players to influence and redeem entertainment for Jesus. Still, the most influential person in Hollywood is you. The viewer.

What you listen to, watch, and read has power. Movieguide® wants to give you the resources to empower the good and the beautiful. But we can’t do it alone. We need your support.

You can make a difference with as little as $7. It takes only a moment. If you can, consider supporting our ministry with a monthly gift. Thank you.

Movieguide® is a 501c3 and all donations are tax deductible.


Now more than ever we’re bombarded by darkness in media, movies, and TV. Movieguide® has fought back for almost 40 years, working within Hollywood to propel uplifting and positive content. We’re proud to say we’ve collaborated with some of the top industry players to influence and redeem entertainment for Jesus. Still, the most influential person in Hollywood is you. The viewer.

What you listen to, watch, and read has power. Movieguide® wants to give you the resources to empower the good and the beautiful. But we can’t do it alone. We need your support.

You can make a difference with as little as $7. It takes only a moment. If you can, consider supporting our ministry with a monthly gift. Thank you.

Movieguide® is a 501c3 and all donations are tax deductible.