The Alarming Reality of Hidden Porn Use Among Pastors
By Movieguide® Contributor
One in five pastors say they currently struggle with pornography use, according to a recent study by Barna.
Two in three report they’ve struggled with porn in the past, and 86% believe that porn use among Christian pastors is a common problem. Since 2015, Barna has seen that the number of pastors saying they’ve never dealt with porn struggles is becoming fewer.
Younger pastors report they struggle more with porn compared to groups above age 45. They’re more likely to believe porn use is common among pastors. They are also more likely to address porn issues within the church.
Most pastors who admit to a past of porn use admit their church elders and deacons are not aware of their struggles. Barna concludes the data indicates there is low desire or urgency to discuss porn use among pastoral leaders in the church.
Of those asked, “Who knows about your pornography use?” 35% of pastors said their spouses don’t even know.
Just 33% of pastors believe that porn use is a major problem in their congregations. However, 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women report struggling with porn consumption. This indicates there’s a legitimate disconnect between “pastoral perception and actual behavior.”
A former Barna study found that less than 1% of pastors believed they should tell their congregation about their past or current sexual sin. But sometimes, that might be the best thing to do.
Garrett Kell is a Virginia pastor who struggled with pornography. His church was growing, and he assumed that he was “exempt” from his sin.
“Things were going so well in those early years that I began to think God was willing to overlook the sin I was hiding,” he wrote.
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When he began to think about planting another church, he began to feel convicted.
“I needed to be honest about my past. So I composed an account detailing my sexual sins from the time I’d become a Christian up to that day,” he recalled.
Writing it was hard but he knew he was doing the right thing. He gave the letter to a friend, Reid, whom he hoped to plant the church with.
After reading it, his friend said through tears, “I love you, brother, but after reading your letter, I don’t feel like we can move forward as partners. And to be honest, I don’t think you should be a pastor right now.”
“No one had ever gotten in my face like that — or at least I had never listened. Most people were willing to overlook my struggles because of my perceived giftedness or personality. But Reid didn’t care about any of that. He loved God, and he loved me,” Kell said.
Kell gave the letter to his church elders and said, “My life and ministry are in your hands. Tell me what to do.”
He then went through several hard months of laying his sins bare to the congregation. He was harshly scrutinized and went through many emotional and physical trials.
“For so long I tried to control my world by covering up my sin, but God summoned me to surrender. I could do nothing in those days but open my hands and allow him to work through imperfect people and an imperfect process, in his perfect way,” Kell said.
“I remember lying face down on my bedroom carpet. I cried out, “I’ve confessed every sin I have ever committed, God. I don’t know what else to do!” He didn’t speak audibly to me, but I sensed him saying, “Now, I will begin to use you,” Kell said.
Kell says that experience refined him and made him into a better pastor. He doesn’t regret it.
He knew he had been hypocritical and pretending in front of his congregation. He wants other pastors to know that if they’re going through the same thing, they need to become accountable and honestly reveal their struggles to elders or deacons and that Jesus will never leave their side.
He says, “No matter what honesty might cost you, Jesus will be with you (Matt. 28:20)… His kindness is designed to lead you to repentance (Rom. 2:4). Today is the day to lay it all down.”
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