Jennie Allen: God Brings ‘Peace in the Midst of Chaos’
By Movieguide® Contributor
Author Jennie Allen and Candace Cameron Bure recently discussed emotional understanding, where it comes from and how to grow in it.
While many people who grew up in broken families might never want to admit that their parents shaped them, Allen explained that everyone is influenced by their circumstances growing up. However, God is gracious, and as we grow and mature, we can change how we act and grow in our understanding of our—and other people’s—emotions.
“I think that’s something to be, you know, to be aware of is that nobody’s coming into this with a blank slate. We’ve all learned things, and a lot of times, they’re unhealthy, and we need to unlearn them,” Allen told Bure. “And so again, I think this is the kind of inventory that really helps you mature is just thinking about how were emotions handled in your family. Were you shamed from feeling sad or angry, or were you comforted? Were you listened to? Were you cared for in that?”
“I just hope everybody feels a lot of compassion and grace because we can’t control the families we’re born into, and we can’t control how we were raised,” she added. “We can’t control a lot of the unhealthy things we picked up and that we learned, and I think that’s okay.”
Allen also spoke to parents, encouraging them that the biggest thing they can do is to be there for their kids. Nobody is ever going to parent perfectly, but it is more important to try.
“We are all shaped more than we would like to admit by the experiences of our family,” Allen said. “Even the bad [families] shaped you, and I think that gives so much grace for us to do [parenting] in a messy way, to do this imperfectly.”
“You know, even like one of my best friends, her parents did end up divorcing, and I remember being in counseling and saying, ‘Why does my friend feel more emotionally healthy than me sometimes?’ And he said, ‘You can go through really traumatic circumstances as a kid. If you don’t go through it alone, you’ll be okay. But if you do go through it alone, no matter how small or big it is, you’re gonna feel the trauma of that in a bigger way,’” she continued.
As with all things in life, the Bible provides examples of people growing in their emotional understanding. Allen’s favorite comes from the disciples interacting with Jesus.
“I love this story about the disciples. They’re in a boat with Jesus, and they’re very emotional, and He gets in the boat, and His disciples followed Him, ‘and behold, there rose a great storm on the sea so that the boat was being swamped by the waves,” Allen read from Matthew 8. “But He was asleep. Jesus was asleep in the bottom of the boat.”
“They went and woke Him up saying, ‘Save us, Lord. We are perishing.’ They’re just freaking out. They’re drama,” she continued. “And He said to them, ‘Why are you so afraid? Oh, ye of little faith.’ And then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm, and the men marveled saying, ‘What sort of man is this that even the winds and the sea obey Him?’”
“And they’re just these kids, you know, that’s what I picture in this moment,” Allen added. “They’re just these kids, and they’re just kind of a mess, and they’re angry. They’re like, ‘Take care of us.’ Like, ‘What are we going to do? We’re going to all die out here. That can’t be the plan.’”
At that time, early in Jesus’ ministry, they were so focused on themselves that they weren’t able to see the bigger picture. However, over time, they grew in their understanding and eventually gave up everything for Jesus and His Gospel.
“They didn’t understand He controlled the waves on that day. They didn’t understand He was worth dying for until they did. And so, I just think that little snapshot of their lives is such a picture of ours too—that you might feel like this emotional wreck because your family was so broken… but God has this force, this stabilizing force that issues peace in the midst of chaos,” Allen explained.
“And I know so many people that meet Him and everything changes,” she continued. “All of the sudden they have peace and all of the sudden even though their past is so broken…they find peace because of God and walking through with God, maturity and stability. And all the sudden, these people that feel like, ‘Gosh, I came from the most broken families,’ build the most beautiful families.”
Allen recently released her book “Untangle Your Emotions.”
“Feelings aren’t something to fix; they are something to feel. As we discover how to name and navigate our emotions, we’ll learn how they can draw us closer to the God who built us—soul, mind, and heart,” she says on her website.
Candace Cameron Bure and author Jennie Allen are reminding us that emotions are an important part of our relationship with God.
“I think one of the real, hardest parts about sharing…is just because that is such an important part of emotions. They are God-given, they are built,” Allen said during a recent episode of “The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast.” “The reason emotions are so important is because they connect you to people. They connect you to Him.”
The pair talked about how many people feel uncomfortable sharing emotions, whether they’re happy or sad ones, because they can feel messy or overwhelming. They also talked about who they go to when they feel emotional and need to vent.
“I try to go to God before I go to anybody else…’I’m going to run to you first, God’ before I share with other people,” Bure shared.
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