"Much a “Hair-Do” About Nothing"
What You Need To Know:
The concept is cute, but the script is pedestrian and dull. The only pleasure is spotting cameo celebrity appearances. Though many Christians could enjoy the similar STRICTLY BALLROOM for its cleanliness, many Christians will be repelled by THE BIG TEASE. Crawford is homo-sexually active, acts effeminate, kisses his lover goodbye, and fornicates with a woman to get ahead. Furthermore, there is a sharp bigoted dig at Christians. This is not a crowd pleaser and will not appeal to anyone who thinks a good haircut can be gotten at a local barber. Call it “Much a Hair-Do About Nothing.”
(PaPa, HoHo, AB, LL, V, SS, NN, A, DD, M) Largely pagan worldview of vain hairstyle competition featuring homosexual hero & a brief but severe anti-Christian statement; 13 obscenities & 8 profanities; sounds of gunfire & men running away from it; implied fornication, a brief homosexual kiss, some sexual innuendo, & a few images of cross-dressers; women in bikinis, upper male nudity & brief rear male nudity; alcohol use; smoking & brief pot smoking; and, lying, deception & sabotage.
Though not quite as charming and accessible because of its homosexual content, THE BIG TEASE does for hairdressing competitions what STRICTLY BALLROOM did for ballroom dancing competitions. Quirky, odd, with silly characters and underdog achievers, THE BIG TEASE is a low-budget pseudo-documentary on Crawford Mackenzie (Craig Ferguson), a homosexually active hairdresser with sights on competing in and winning the World Freestyle Hairdressing Championship in Los Angeles.
The story begins with Crawford receiving what he thinks is an invitation to compete for the prestigious Platinum Scissors Award. Jubilantly and blindly, he heads west with scissors and comb in hand and a British documentary crew in tow. He arrives in L.A. and checks into one of the most expensive hotels, but discovers that the World International Hairdressing Federation (W.I.H.F.) not only isn’t picking up his hotel bills, but also hasn’t invited him to join the competition.
Undaunted, Crawford does all he can, including schmoozing with and sleeping with Sean Connery’s publicist, Candy Harper (Frances Fisher). This allows Crawford to get his H.A.G. (Hairdressers of America) card and, through more fortuitous meetings, compete against three-time winner Stig Ludwigssen (David Rasche) in front of a panel of known hairstylists, like Paul Mitchell, for the coveted prize.
The concept here is cute, and everyone acts earnestly, but the script is surprisingly pedestrian and dull. A certain amount of dimness is expected with such a vain topic, but even vanity and frivolity can be written with care and charm. One of the only pleasures of the movie is spotting cameo celebrity appearances such as Drew Carey, Cathy Lee Crosby, David Hasselhoff, and Bruce Jenner. Craig Ferguson merely comes off as a goofy sport willing to ham it up, but he doesn’t display wide comic abilities.
Though many Christians could enjoy the similar STRICTLY BALLROOM for its relative cleanliness, many Christians will equally be repelled by THE BIG TEASE. Crawford is actively homosexual, sometimes acts effeminate, kisses his Scottish lover goodbye, and eventually fornicates with a woman to get ahead. Furthermore, there is a sharp dig at Christians when Crawford goes to the hotel in L.A. The manager of the hotel says he believes in his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” but also says he is an alcoholic. Later, the movie reveals that this same manager was caught in indecent acts with a bellboy. This is a clear bigoted slam by the writers.
THE BIG TEASE is not a big crowd pleaser and will not appeal to any American who thinks a good haircut can be gotten at most any local barber. Call it “Much a Hair-Do About Nothing.”