"This Movie Really Bites"
What You Need To Know:
PIRANHA 3DD is a cynical cash grab. It uses higher 3D prices in a blatant attempt to squeeze extra dollars out of moviegoers without even giving them a normal-length movie. Despite being officially 82 minutes long, the last ten minutes consist of closing credits interspersed with countless unfunny blooper shots. PIRANHA 3DD isn’t funny nor scary enough. Instead, it throws nearly every imaginable form of misbehavior and immorality on screen in a shameless assault on viewers. Like the last PIRANHA movie, there’s extreme foul language, extreme gruesome violence, and extremely sickening lewd content. Do yourself a favor and avoid this abhorrent, repugnant, badly made horrorshow.
(PaPaPa, AbAb, PCPCPC, AcapAcapAcap, B, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, AAA, DD, MMM) Very strong anything-goes pagan worldview, plus one scene mocks Christians by having a teenage boy and girl pray for forgiveness before fornication, which goes along with the movie’s very strong politically correct, anti-capitalist content where the evil villain is an uncaring, heartless businessman, and some very light moral elements of trying to stop monsters; more than 120 obscenities and profanities; extreme bloody, gruesome violence includes piranha comes out of woman’s body and attaches to man’s private parts, and he has to castrate himself to get it off, villain gets decapitated, young boy is also decapitated, fish eat people, teenage couple drowns in van before being eaten by fish, etc.; very strong sexual content abounds and includes teenage fornication, college-age male tries to take virginity of younger woman who has a piranha in her body, sexual mutilation, two scenes with male character pleasuring himself at water park’s pool ventilators, older man shown in bed with two women, and vulgar language for body parts; extreme nudity includes private parts and upper female nudity; copious drinking and drunkenness; several shots of marijuana smoking (the only smoking that the anti-smoking Nazis agree with); and, nonstop miscellaneous immorality includes showing police as corrupt, the water park owner is a coldly uncaring money-grubber, and general use of insult humor and mean-spirited attitudes among the characters towards each other.
PIRANHA 3DD is a morally debased, repugnant attempt at comedic horror, with a thoroughly Pagan worldview and a scene that strongly mocks Christians as hypocrites who use prayer as a silly bargaining chip with God. It’s also neither funny enough nor scary enough to qualify as satisfactory in either genre.
The movie’s incredibly stupid plot, from the writers of the fourth through seventh entries in the execrable SAW series, has the giant prehistoric piranhas from the previous PIRANHA movie relocate from an Arizona lake into a water amusement park. This occurs a year after the first movie’s massacre occurred. Despite being warned that piranhas are endangering his customers, the park owner cynically allows the park to open without warning the attendees. It’s left to his estranged stepdaughter and her friends to save as much of the day as possible.
PIRANHA 3DD is a cynical cash grab, which uses higher 3D prices against its audience in a blatant attempt to squeeze extra dollars out of them without even giving them a normal-length movie. Despite being officially 82 minutes long, the last ten minutes or more consist of the closing credits interspersed with countless unfunny blooper shots from the filmmaking process. The movie isn’t funny enough to work as comedy nor scary enough to work as horror. Instead, it throws nearly every imaginable form of misbehavior and immorality on screen in an assault on its audience’s no doubt limited senses. Like the last movie, there’s extreme foul language, extreme gruesome violence, and extreme sex and nudity.
Everyone involved in PIRANHA 3DD, from the director to cast and crew, should be ashamed of being involved with this film. All moviegoers should spare themselves the shame and agony of seeing this abhorrent, repugnant, badly made horrorshow.