LAND OF THE LOST
Putrid, Scatological Sci Fi
Release Date: June 05, 2009
Genre: Comedy/Science Fiction
Audience: Older teenagers and adults
Runtime: 93 minutes
Director: Brad Silberling
Producer: Jimmy Miller and Sid & Marty Krofft
Address Comments To:Jeffrey R. Immelt, Chairman/CEO, General Electric
Jeff Zucker, President/CEO, NBC Universal
Ron Meyer, President/COO, Universal Studios
Marc Shmuger, Chairman
David Linde, Co-Chairman
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608-1085
Phone: (818) 777-1000
Web Page: www.universalstudios.com
The movie opens with Matt Lauer interviewing Will Ferrell’s character, Professor Rick Marshall. Matt accusing the professor of being a total nincompoop because he believes that he can create a device to travel between dimensions. The professor physically attacks Matt and loses his job.
Cut to Professor Marshall teaching at an elementary school, where the young children are discussing body parts and making fun of his theories. A buxom woman named Holly shows up. She challenges the professor to build his time and space machine.
Sometime later, she finds him in a coma from having eaten too much food but having completed his time machine. They drive to a place where the conditions are perfect for using the machine, which is a Death Valley gas station with a tacky cave ride. As the foul-mouthed Will takes them on the cave ride, the professor accidentally hits the time machine, and they get transported to the Land of the Lost.
There, they meet Chaka, a furry alien who keeps feeling up Holly’s breasts and even the professor’s private area. Chaka pretends to be a dumb caveman but at one point he starts singing show tunes from CHORUS LINE. A giant Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur constantly pursues them.
They find out the professor’s machine is causing a lot of artifacts to come from our dimension to theirs, including an ice cream truck. The dinosaur devours the ice cream man, pulling off his arm.
Next, they find an area with crystals being guarded by alien lizard zombies in the service of a mean alien who wants to conquer the universe. Marshall covers himself in urine and drinks urine to keep the dinosaur away. The dinosaur is very intelligent, however, and eats Marshall, who comes out covered with dinosaur feces. Marshall and his friends drink from a narcotic plant and get so stoned that they fantasize about homosexual sex.
LAND OF THE LOST is a rambling exercise in offensive, sexual, scatological, stoner jokes. Everything from pot to hard narcotics is extolled. Sex is a constant refrain for the jokes, with the touching of body parts and a graphic description of dinosaur body parts. Some of the violence is very bloody. It includes a scene with Prof. Marshall having a mosquito sucking his blood and splattering it all over the place. Also, arms are cut off and people are attacked. Even human sacrifice is included. It is as if the producers and Will Ferrell wanted to put everything offensive they could imagine, including a blasphemous joke about Jesus.
The sad part is that the screening was full of children because the filmmakers have tried to hoodwink the public into believing this is a family-friendly remake of a beloved children’s series instead of a vulgar offensive movie that should be rated R, or, better yet, should never have been made like this. What’s sadder is that the movie is funny, so some people will rationalize all the movie’s foul language, which is considerable, and all its gross, perverted, immoral, blasphemous behavior. Happily, the movie is only 93 minutes.
MOVIEGUIDE®’s recommendation is to avoid this movie and go see Pixar/Disney’s UP or the original TV series.
Despite some very funny moments, LAND OF THE LOST is a rambling exercise in offensive, sexual, scatological, stoner jokes. Everything from pot to hard narcotics is extolled. Sex is a constant refrain for the jokes, including homosexuality. Finally, this abhorrent movie contains 88 obscenities and a blasphemous joke mocking Jesus. MOVIEGUIDE®’s recommendation is to avoid LAND OF THE LOST and see Pixar/Disney’s UP or the original TV series instead.