By Kayla DeKraker
Back to school is right around the corner for many families, and parents of young children may be dreading the long, emotional morning drop off process.
“As humans, uncertainty just scares…us. All of us feel so much better when we know what to expect,” Deena Margolin, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told TODAY.
For parents whose kids are a little nervous, she advises telling them exactly what to expect, which helps them feel safe.
“We’re going to wake up, have breakfast, get in the car. I’m going to kiss you goodbye. You’re going to be at camp. And at camp, you’ll do XYZ, and then after soccer time, I’ll be there to pick you up,” she shared as an example.
Parenting coach Kristin Gallant chimed in, saying, “If we are feeling anxious or worried or scared because we know it’s coming, they’re probably going to pick up on that energy.”
She added, “Parents need to do exactly what they say they are going to do.”
God’s word reminds us in Matthew 5:37 of the importance of keeping our word: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
We should be especially cognizant of this when it comes to our little ones.
Gallant also said that lingering during drop off really doesn’t help kids.
“Every teacher that we know says the quicker you can make drop-off and the more confident you can be in your goodbye, the safer their brains and nervous systems actually feel,” she said.
Margolin acknowledged that walking away from your child is difficult.
“As a parent, it feels so terrible,” she said. “Like you’re just walking away from your kid when you know they’re falling apart.”
But, she explained, a lingering drop off “actually does backfire in a lot of cases. The swift drop-off makes such a difference after a few days of consistently doing it.”
Related: How This TODAY Host Calms Her Kids’ Back-to-School Jitters
Margolin added that some kids handle drop offs worse than others because they are “big feelers,”
“There’s certain kids who are what we call Big Feelers, and these kids experience everything so much more intensely: noises, sounds, lights. It impacts them differently. And how they experience their own emotions is much more intense than the average child.”
Creating a drop-off ritual could help, too.
“We encourage families to have a simple goodbye ritual, for example, a secret handshake, high five, or hug,” Motherly wrote. “Once you’ve checked in, practice your ritual and then say a brief goodbye to your child. Be positive and smile.”
School drop offs can be difficult, but with some intentionality and mindful choices, parents can make the process easier on both themselves and their child.
Read Next: 10 Best Animated Movies To Get Kids Ready For Back-To-School
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