By Kayla DeKraker
Terry Crews used to put his identity in his image until his marriage came crashing down.
“I realized that the day my wife decided our marriage was over, which was crazy,” Crews told NBC of when he realized living for others’ approval is dangerous. “My wife and I have been married for 36 years as of this July, and at year 20, thought the marriage was over, because I was just all about an image.”
Back then, Crews found his worth in what other people thought about him.
“I was all about, you know, the front,” he said, “Not about what it really was, as long as everyone believes that, and then you can be a whole other person in there, inside. And all of a sudden, you know, my wife called me on all of that.”
Crews’ marriage survived after he began genuinely working on himself, something he encourages others to do.
“I want the tagline of my life to be ‘the best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself,’” he said. “That’s it. If you make the most of yourself, all of a sudden, your world improves and the world improves around you. And I’m gonna tell you this 15-year anniversary of that.”
Crews grew up in a home where his father abused his mother, which affected him greatly as a child. Now, he advocates for men to be vulnerable about their issues and build relationships with other men who can hold them accountable.
A scary moment in his life taught him the importance of community.
“You have to understand, I was in NFL from ’91 to ’97, and I was a mess. I’m gonna be very, very frank right now. There was a moment where I came very, very close to actually killing a person, and it scared the life out of [me],” he revealed. “I was like, ‘Wait a minute.’ But there was no one I could tell. There was no one I could go to. There was no one, and thank God it didn’t happen.”
He continued by explaining how we need to hold the people in our spheres of influence accountable for their actions.
“Men need to hold other men accountable, whatever world you’re in. As an NFL player, I can hold other NFL players accountable. As an actor, I could hold other Hollywood actors accountable,” Crews emphasized.
He concluded, “My whole thing is about listening but also holding myself and other people that are in my group accountable.”
Crews’ wife, Rebecca, previously opened up about the dark season in their marriage, sharing how God brought them through.
“Today, I look at my husband, and I always say he’s a better man than me,” she said. “He took hold of the Word of God, and he took hold of the Scriptures, and he just ran with all his might. He said, ‘God, I don’t want to be like this anymore.’ And he amazes me every day. He really is the kinder, gentler version of Terry Crews because he let God do a work in his life.”
On Valentine’s Day this year, Rebecca took to her Instagram to celebrate their marriage.
“My beloved husband, you have been my best friend, my lover, father, to my children, and cheerleader of my dreams for the last 36 years,” she said in the caption. “One of the things I’ve always loved about you is the way you always protect me. The way you protect our family. You’ve never let anyone come through the wall. Thank you for being my dream and the answer to my prayers. ❤️.”
Crews’ story is an incredible reminder that no one is too far from God’s reach, and if we turn to God and hold each other accountable, life will be better.
Read Next: How Terry Crews Discovered the Power of Forgiveness
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