"Double Drivel"
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What You Need To Know:
Not only is this movie turn from silly to annoying, but Simon’s employees border on blasphemous. Micro and Macro act out a scene and pretend to be the voice of God. Micro does a little dance saying, “Go, Jesus. Go, Jesus,” but he never displays any genuine faith, so this dance is irrelevant, if not a mockery. Other objectionable elements include briefly depicted fornication and several obscenities. The result is a jumbled mess with no coherency, no charm, no humor, and a completely forgettable entertainment experience.
Content:
(PaPa, Ab, B, LLL, VVV, SS, N, A, D, M) Largely pagan worldview of crime fighter with two near-blasphemous undercover computer experts who pretend to be monks & quote Holy Scriptures with a mild moral conclusion of good overcoming evil; 35 obscenities, 12 profanities & several vulgar euphemisms; extreme violence including shooting, hand to hand combat, kicking, threats of massive destruction with massive weapon, threats of violence, explosions, & car chases; briefly depicted fornication, heavy kissing & man behaves in his sleep as if he is having a sexual dream; images of nude statues, women in bikinis & lingerie; alcohol use; smoking; and, sounds of vomiting & lying.
More Detail:
The producers of SIMON SEZ should have learned a few things about the performance of movies starring Shaq O’Neill, NBA basketball player. Performance on the basketball court doesn’t equal entertainment or box office performance on screen. SIMON SEZ stars bad-boy Dennis Rodman as sort of a secret agent for hire. His movie is poorly written, poorly acted, poorly executed, and hopefully should signal the end of Dennis Rodman’s acting career.
The plot is razor thin. Simon, aided by undercover computer expects dressed as monks, Macro and Micro, operates out of a secret lair somewhere in France. An associate from his former days, Nick (Dane Cooke – in one of the most ridiculously dumb performances ever), asks Simon to help him send a ransom of two million dollars to the captors of a young woman named Claire (Natalia Cigliuti). The problem is Claire doesn’t know she is kidnapped and doesn’t want to leave. Another associate of Simon’s named The Dance (Emma Sjoberg) shows up, various thugs with guns and karate kicks attack, and other complications ensue including the appearance of an encrypted CD with defense secrets on it.
Not only does this movie turn from silly to annoying, but Simon’s employees border on blasphemous. One time, Micro and Macro act out a scene and pretend to be the voice of God over a PA system when Nick stumbles into Simon’s secret headquarters. Also, at another time, Micro does a little dance saying “Go, Jesus. Go, Jesus,” but he never displays any genuine faith, so this dance is irrelevant, if not a mockery. Other objectionable elements include briefly depicted fornication and several obscenities.
The directors and producers did well for themselves by filming in France. They also did well by limiting Rodman to five and six word utterances and having him mostly do physical feats. They also stacked the supporting cast with martial arts performers and comedians. The result however, is a jumbled mess with no coherency, no charm, no humor, and a completely forgettable entertainment experience.
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