EXTREME OPS

EXTREME OPS is designed and created to reach the moviegoers who spend the most money . . . teenage boys. There’s mountain biking, white water kayaking, snowboarding, skiing, skate boarding, pretty girls, and no real plot. Even on the movie posters the “Extreme” in the title is amazingly similar to the Xgames logo on ESPN or other sport channels. The poster sports a snowboarder with dark green jacket, goggles and an M-16 rifle on his back, as well as two helicopters in the sky. One would rightfully assume by this poster and title that there is a military operation being conducted . . . WRONG!

The movie follows an “extreme” commercial director and his producer as they woo a Japanese Home Video Camera company into hiring them to show their cameras in action. First it is white water rafting, and when that goes well, the producer oversells their skills by promising extreme snowboarders and skiers outrunning an avalanche with their product. To make matters worse, he promises an Olympic gold medal winning skiing snow-bunny to be in the commercial as well!

Apparently, not finding suitable snow anywhere remotely civilized, they go to Austria, and on the way, somehow pick up two more extreme sport folks. One specializes in skateboards and snowboards, while the other is strictly into snowboarding and is a cute brunette to contrast with the cute snow-bunny blonde.

This group of snippy, big attitude folks doesn’t really like each other, but they’re forced to be in close company when they find out they have to stay in a big creepy-looking steel and glass chalet on the top of Mount Crumpet, er, the Alps. (Oops, that’s another movie with snow, and a guy dressed in green!)

Early in the film the characters learn that an airliner had crashed in the Alps near the Serb/Croat border, with no survivors, and that one notorious war criminal Croatian commander had gone down with it. Surprise! He somehow (never even remotely explained) survives and holes up in the chateau monstrosity with several badly shaven henchmen. One of the extreme athletes accidentally videotapes him with his Zsa Zsa Gabor “wannabe” girlfriend, and now, of course, all of our extreme athletes must pull together to avoid being killed.

They never wear green, carry an assault rifle, or are chased by two helicopters. Instead, there is an awful LOT of really good skiing and snowboarding footage, which is what all the teenagers mentioned above are really coming to see . . . not to mention the snow babes.

Although there are more than 40 obscenities and profanities, there are no sex scenes in EXTREME OPS. There are, however, some rude comments about sex, alcohol use and a running joke that involves two girls kissing each other on a dare. Perhaps, the most dangerous thing about the movie is the possibility that Junior and his buddies may try to pull a stunt like snowboarding behind a train or skateboarding on top of one.

The music in EXTREME OPS is “Euro-tech,” which at times is appropriate, but mostly just annoying. The photography itself seems to jump from being grainy to very pretty. There are a couple of obvious models and matte effects, and the bad guys are severely limited with choice of weapons and proper usage. They shoot with a short-barreled shotgun (five rounds) out of a helicopter, for instance, when two minutes before they had an AK47 assault rifle (30 rounds) with them.

If you love ski footage, EXTREME OPS may be the movie for you. If you need plot, storyline and character development, skip EXTREME OPS. It’s a middle quality teen movie that will probably disappear.