By India McCarty
Actor Terry Crews says hiding his porn addiction from his wife and children turned him into a “human pile of guilt.”
“I was told: ‘Man, you can’t be addicted to porn, man. It’s just natural. It’s just who you are. It’s no big deal. Your wife’s got to understand that, that you’re just a man,’” Crews said in a 2023 episode of the “Armchair Expert” podcast.
However, he couldn’t stop feeling an overwhelming sense of “guilt,” as he would “straight out” lie to his wife, Rebecca King, about what he was doing.
“I was walking around a human pile of guilt. And so my wife was like: ‘Where were you?’” he recalled. “I’d be like: ‘Why are you always checking where I am?…I mean, what are you, scared?’ So I’d start arguing so she wouldn’t ask more questions. Poor woman,” Crews explained.
Related: How Terry Crews Overcame a Pornography Addiction that Threatened to End His Marriage
He added, “It was horrible. My kids, I would be angry at them for getting in the way.”
“A lot of time in the hotels alone, I would be on the porn channel and then I would feel super guilty and then I would read a bunch of self help,” Crews shared. “Like ‘Okay, let me get back to even here’ because I felt bad about myself all the time. I am a failure.”
Crews would later enter rehab for his pornography addiction. Today, he is open about his struggle, as well as the work he and King put into their marriage to overcome his addiction.
“Me and my wife have been married 36 years and, at year 20 though, it was over. And we totally rebuilt our relationship,” Crews told PEOPLE. “And we decided we were going to be stronger together. It was a decision that we decided to make.”
He continued, “It’s work. It’s really work. You have to get better at it, it’s a skill. There’s a lot of things I had to relearn.”
In another interview with PEOPLE, King said, “He’s the hero of our story, in my opinion. He made the choice to take this battle on and really become a better person.”
The couple often speak about how they’ve made their 36-year marriage work. In a 2023 interview with E! News, Crews said, “Never forget that. When you know there’s a difference between love and control, you’ve got the secret. Now it becomes magic.”
Meanwhile, King told the outlet her bit of relationship advice: “I’d say marry your best friend.”
Crews’ transparency about his struggles with pornography addiction, as well as the work he and King did to keep their marriage together, is an inspiration to anyone who might be going through the same thing.
Read Next: Rebecca Crews on 35-Year Marriage to Terry Crews: ‘I Followed Jesus’
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