Demi Lovato: Relapse Brought Me ‘Back to my Knees of Begging God for Help’

Demi Lovato/YouTube

Demi Lovato: Relapse Brought Me ‘Back to my Knees of Begging God for Help’

By Jessilyn Lancaster, Managing Editor

Editor’s note: Demi Lovato’s DANCING WITH THE DEVIL contains multiple cautions, including discussion of drug use/abuse, as well as foul language and discussions of sexual abuse. Movieguide® advises extreme caution before viewing. 

Demi Lovato’s DANCING WITH THE DEVIL on YouTube shows how desperate a person can be for a relationship with the Lord and how Satan is continually prowling to keep us from connecting with God.

In a song by the same name, she sings: “I was dancing with the devil, out of control/Almost made it to Heaven/It was closer than you know Playing with the enemy, gambling with my soul/It’s so hard to say no/When you’re dancing with the devil.”

Raised as a Christian, Lovato, an actress/musician, felt her world began to crumble when her addict father overdosed. As Lovato searched for her place in the entertainment industry, she attempted to hold to her Christian roots as she encountered struggle after struggle.

She wore a promise ring. She publicly pledged she would wait to have sex until marriage. She felt like it was all a sham when she was sexually assaulted.

“So, what, I’m supposed to come out to the public after saying I have a promise ring? Six months later, I’m supposed to say, ‘Well, actually, I had sex, even though it was rape,'” Lovato recalled in episode 3 of her documentary. “Some people aren’t going to see it that way. Or at least the Christian Southern girl inside of me didn’t see it that way.”

Instead, Lovato turned to alcohol and drugs to fill her heart instead of allowing God to come in and heal her.

It wasn’t enough.

In 2018, Lovato made international headlines for her near fatal overdose.

Her mother found out through texts telling her they were praying for her daughter.

Lovato should have been dead.

“When they found me, I was naked, I was blue. I was literally left for dead,” Lovato said.

Lovato’s overdose was a rapid spiral after an intense sobriety that imploded in relapse.

Weeks before the overdose, Lovato said her drug cocktail of choice was coke and Xanax. When her drug dealer was out, she went for cocaine and heroin.

“I knew that what I had been looking for I hadn’t found yet,” Lovato said. “But what I had been looking for was not in the form of a drug. It was the spiritual growth that I’ve had over the past seven months. That spiritual growth is what I was looking for.”

Lovato — thanks to the prayers of countless people around the world — survived.

But willpower alone wasn’t enough to keep her clean.

Shortly after she overdosed, Lovato relapsed again and attempted to rewrite her sexual assault narrative only to bring herself more pain and suffering.

“It didn’t fix anything. It didn’t take anything away. It just made me feel worse, but that for some reason was my way of taking the power back. All it did was bring me back to my knees of begging to God for help,” Lovato said.

Lovato’s faith and spirituality seem to have strayed significantly from the biblical descriptions of Christianity.

However, by her own admission, she knows that only God can fill the deep void in her life. Sex, drugs and music have all left her empty. Fame and fortune brought her only misery.

In “Dancing With the Devil,” she sings:

“Thought I knew my limit, yeah/I thought that I could quit it, yeah/I thought that I could walk away easily/But here I am, falling down on my knees/Praying for better days to come and wash this pain away/Could you please forgive me? Lord, I’m sorry for dancing with the devil.”

Lovato’s documentary is a hard and painful study in the realization that the world cannot offer us long-term sustenance. When we treat traumas only by worldly measures, we will never experience complete healing.

Instead, the Bible points us to Christ’s redemption to ultimately satisfy our souls. Christ, Himself, took on the troubles of the world so that we can have eternal life. He came for the broken and the hurting. Over and over, Scripture tells us how the Lord is close to the broken-hearted.

Christ wasn’t afraid to deal with the deep and unnerving traumas evil can perpetuate. Rather, he offers those who accept Him a chance to find that inner peace.

Lovato seems to know that, as does her inner circle of friends and family. Our prayer is that Lovato will have a supernatural, life-changing encounter with the Holy Spirit that can leave her forever satisfied.