Terry Crews: ‘Who Was Stronger And Yet More Vulnerable Than Jesus?’
By Movieguide® Contributor
Actor, 2023 Movieguide® Awards host, and AMERICA’S GOT TALENT host Terry Crews recently opened up about his testimony.
In an article published to Guideposts, Crews admitted he is known for his “big muscles and alpha swagger,” but shared that he often feels “inadequate and vulnerable.”
The actor grew up in a volatile home environment. His father was an alcoholic and often beat his mother. Even then, Crews said he “yearned” for his father to love him. One time, Crews kissed him on the cheek and was taken aback by his father’s shocked reaction.
“I decided then and there that I could never let myself be vulnerable again, as if I had discovered the key to my survival,” he said. “Not that I knew the word vulnerable but the message was unmistakable to me: ‘Squash your feelings. Get tough or get eaten alive.’”
Crews decided the key was getting bigger and stronger. He played pro football, became a security guard for movie sets, and transitioned to becoming an actor himself. However, his issues with his father were still unaddressed and they started to affect Crews’ relationships with his wife and children.
“The more success I had, the more bad-tempered and controlling I got, fearing it would evaporate any minute,” he said.
Eventually, his wife said she would leave him if he did not seek help for his emotional issues.
“I needed guidance,” Crews admitted. “I picked up the phone and did something the younger me would never have considered. I called my pastor. We’d been going to Faith Community, led by Jim and Marguerite Reeve, for a while. I still thought of church as something I did only for my wife and kids. Yet somehow I knew I could trust Dr. Jim Reeve with the darkest parts of myself, as if I were being led to him.”
Through his relationship with Dr. Reeve, as well as therapy, Crews began to see the strength in being vulnerable.
“For most of my life, something like that would have been an unbearable humiliation. Now I work every day to become a better husband and father,” Crews said. “[My wife] and I talk to Jim and Marguerite Reeve often. We call them our spiritual parents. They’ve shown us that a loving marriage starts with God at the center.”
He continued, “I have discovered strength in vulnerability, for who was stronger and yet more vulnerable than Jesus, who loved the poor and weak and defied the Pharisees. Who sacrificed his earthly life so we could live with him in heaven. What requires more vulnerability than to forgive and be forgiven? Well, I’m working on that. In the meantime, I remember that love conquers fear — always — and that to be a man means accepting myself, weaknesses and all. That’s my true superpower.”
Movieguide® previously reported on more work Crews did to repair and strengthen his marriage:
Actor and former NFL player Terry Crews recently opened up about his battle with a pornography addiction and his decision to practice celibacy.
The 53-year-old former Movieguide® Awards host is candid about his past struggles and said he is thankful to his wife Rebecca despite his shame.
Crews said he went on a “90-day sex fast” to help him overcome his addiction.
“We did it together. Rebecca was right there and she actually regrouped with me,” he toldEntertainment Tonight. “I went on a 90-day sex fast [with] her. And people were like, ‘Whoa, that’s crazy!’ But let me tell you something – what was so beautiful about that, was it took me to a time when I was 12 years old and I liked a girl and I didn’t know anything about sex.”
“But all I did was give her a flower and say, ‘I like you for who you are.’ And it wasn’t about sex. It took us back to those moments,” he said. “I felt like I was 12 years old again, because sex had been taken out of the equation and it was all about love again.”
The outspoken Christian said that his addiction began at nine years old and that he kept it a secret from his wife for almost 20 years.
“But my wife knew something was wrong because we kept getting farther and farther apart,” he said. “When she addressed me and finally put the question to me, ‘What is it that I don’t know about you, Terry Crews?’ I told… I was thinking, ‘Well, you know, finally we can get past this.’ She was like, ‘Uh uh, nope, I’m out. I’m gone.’”
Crews said that his wife did not judge him, but knew that if he did not change she should not stay with in her marriage to him.
“She always said, ‘I love you, this is why I have to leave you.’ That was the whole [thing],” he explained. “It wasn’t judgmental, it was always like, ‘I love you too much to even stay with you right now.’”
“It was so deep, and I was like, ‘If she can make these kind of statements to me, then how could I not do the work?’” he added.
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