By Michaela Gordoni
Comedian and podcaster Theo Von knows he needs something more in his life.
“I’ve been struggling, man,” Von said in a recent podcast. “For the past couple years, it’s been a struggle in certain ways with certain behaviors that I’m just not proud of, right? Or really just behaviors that I didn’t want to do anymore.”
So he started to talk to God more meaningfully.
“I started praying like, ‘God, please help me with this. This is a broken part of me that I bring to You. I need help with it,’” he said.
“And then I would add to my prayer. I would say, ‘Even God, even as I pray to You right now, there’s a part of me that knows I’m probably lying to You. There’s a part of me that knows I’m gonna do that behavior again. So can You come into that part of me and help me there?’”
He admitted he is working through childhood trauma and thought about John 5, where Jesus asks a man at the pool of Bethesda if he wants to be healed.
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“And that’s a crazy question because…” Von said. “If I get healed, then I’m different. If somebody gets healed, they have a new story.”
“So that’s just been something that I’ve been having to ask myself,” he said. “It’s like, do I want to be healed? Do I really want something different?”
He admits sometimes the answer is no.
“I want something different, but I don’t know if I’m scared of it. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I don’t want to do what it takes to get there. I can’t even tell what it is.”
But he’s tired of it.
“I think I want a new story, dude,” he continued. “And it’s crazy for me to even say that. But yeah, I think I want a new story.”
“So that’s one thing that I’m asking God for — I’m asking God for a new story. I’m asking God for the next part of me… I never thought I would be saying some of this stuff, but I’m glad that I am because I’m ready for a new story,” he said.
In another episode on his podcast, Von explained why he believes in God.
“If you’re telling me there is a free parent, a free love, a free heart out there in the universe, that’s a lottery ticket that I don’t have to scratch,” he said. “I’ll take that all day ‘cause I want to be a part of something bigger.”
In another episode he said, “I’m looking for the Lord,” Von said. “I always am. I’ll say, ‘I’m looking for the Lord,” and then somebody told me, ‘The Lord ain’t lost.’”
Amen, Von.
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