"Boring! Pagan Evil Wins Again"
In THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, a mysterious team of scientists manipulates five college students visiting an isolated cabin into conjuring up some cannibalistic zombies. For all its unique monsters, both human and non-human, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is just another abhorrent, foul-mouthed modern horror movie where evil wins out in the end. Boring!
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is a different kind of horror movie, but, like so many of its modern contemporaries in the genre, evil wins out in the end. In fact, evil is so victorious that the ending provides no hope whatsoever for the survival of humanity.
The movie begins with two official looking scientists in some kind of huge facility arguing with one another and with some woman who works in the “chemistry division.” They leave the woman and enter a small control room with a young black security guard who’s there for the first time.
Cut to two college women in an apartment, Dana and Jules, discussing their weekend trip to “the cabin in the woods.” They join three young men, including Jules’ boyfriend Curt, a new guy for Dana named Holden, and Marty, the dope-smoking clown of the group. The five of them ride to an isolated cabin in the mountains. As their van goes into a mountain tunnel, a hawk flies
In the cabin, it’s clear that the two scientists are watching the people through hidden cameras. They start manipulating what’s going on in the cabin, including opening the door to the cellar, where the college students discover all sort of strange curios, such as dolls, masks, a mysterious steel ball with compartments that move, and a diary by a young girl 100 years ago.
Dana starts to read the diary, which sounds like the girl writing it is part of some cannibal family of backwoods folk. Against Marty’s advice, Dana reads a Latin phrase at the end of the diary. Cut to the woods, where the graves of the girl and her family sprout zombie versions of them.
As the zombies start attacking and killing the five students, the remaining students and the viewer begin to wonder what’s going on here. Especially when Marty accidentally discovers a bug in one of the cabin’s old-fashioned lamps.
[SPOILER ALERT] The second half of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS contains revelations about mythical monsters, pagan gods, and pagan sacrifice. It also contains abundant blood and gore. Both halves, of course, contain lots of R-rated, gratuitous foul language, along with Marty’s dope smoking habit. This last bit is played for laughs. Finally, at the end of the movie, the pagan evil behind everything in the story seems completely victorious. In fact, the movie’s ending shows that humanity has no hope and no future in the wake of this evil.
For all its uniqueness, therefore, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is just another abhorrent modern horror movie with all the same kind of evil content. In other words, the evil of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is, ultimately, rather boring.
MOVIEGUIDE® would also like to note that, because the beginning of the movie shows that the five college students and the zombies are being manipulated, the viewer stops caring what happens to the students. Also, zombies (like sympathetic vampires) are now so ubiquitous in pop culture that they’ve become dull and uninteresting. In contrast to all this, the character played by Jamie Lee Curtis in the original HALLOWEEN movie is sympathetic and heroic. And, she survives in the end (even though the monster returns in the sequel).
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is not as clever or brilliant as it thinks it is. And, it’s certainly not all that fun, much less inspiring, exciting, or cathartic.
(PaPaPa, OO, B, AbAb, LLL, VVV, S, NN, AA, DDD, MMM) Very strong evil pagan worldview with some overt occult content and references to pagan gods, pagan sacrifice, vicious monsters (including giant snakes, werewolves, mad clowns, powerful ghosts, etc.), and pagan evil wins at the end, with no hope for humanity, plus light moral elements at times but strong Anti-Christian content (that’s never contradicted) where one minor character in two scenes sounds like a Christian but also speaks like a lunatic; extreme foul language includes at least 67 mostly strong obscenities (many “f” words), four strong profanities, and 14 light profanities; very strong and graphic, bloody horror violence such as multiple stabbings, bloody zombie attacks, bloody monster attacks, implied decapitation, zombies drag people away, monsters eat people, and monsters attack bunches of people in a wide hallway with elevators and leave the hallway a complete and bloody mess; some sexual innuendo and woman is dared to make out with a dead wolf’s head on the wall and she does; upper male nudity in a couple scenes and brief upper female nudity in one shot, plus women in bikinis and woman in panties in one scene while getting dressed and with a bra in another scene while starting to undress; alcohol use and drunkenness; man chews tobacco and frequent pot smoking, including while driving, mostly by one young man, which is treated like a running joke, and people are drugged by unseen, uncaring manipulators; and, gambling, people gamble on what people are going to die when, people desensitized to violence, manipulation, movie hypocritically questions the bloodlust of people who go to violent horror movies but clearly revels in it at the same time, lying, young adults play “Truth or Dare,” and voyeurism that’s more sadistic and cruel than really sexual.
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is a different kind of horror movie. It begins with two official looking scientists with badges heading toward a control room. Cut to five college students taking a trip to an isolated cabin ion the woods. It soon becomes clear that the two scientists are manipulating the students into conjuring up some monsters. They waken the zombies of the cannibalistic family that occupied the cabin 100 years ago. As the zombies start attacking and killing the five students, the remaining students (and the viewer) begin to wonder what’s going on here. Especially when one student accidentally discovers a bug in one of the cabin’s old-fashioned lamps.
The second half of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS contains revelations about mythical monsters, pagan gods, and pagan sacrifice. It also contains abundant blood and gore. Both halves, of course, contain lots of R-rated, gratuitous foul language, along with marijuana use. For all its unique monsters, both human and non-human, CABIN IN THE WOODS is just another abhorrent, obscenity-filled, modern horror movie. Thus, demonic evil wins out in the end. Now, that’s truly boring, not just horrific.