By Michaela Gordoni
Great American Family star Cameron Mathison has been struggling with the loss of his home following the fires in LA earlier this year, so much so that he feels the pull to drink again.
“I have to say, the pull and the thoughts are definitely stronger these last four months — more so than the last 20, 21 years of my life,” the 55-year-old told PEOPLE this month.
“For me, it all comes down to serenity, peace of mind. And so when I feel that craving, that want, that need, that trying to satisfy an inner problem with an outer solution — whether it’s a mind-altering substance or whatever — I really try to turn inward and work on my inner qualities of love, compassion, patience, generosity, kindness, and train in meditation, work on that serenity through community, through my own spiritual practice,” he shared.
He admits he hasn’t been doing it as much as he should.
He’s been sober for 19 years.
In 2021, he wrote, “15 years ago today, I made the choice to give up alcohol. People always ask me why and the answer is very simple… because I want to be the best dad, husband and person I can be,” he said. “I want to be as mindful as possible in my life, and deal with things with my full awareness.”
Though culture will tell you that giving up alcohol means giving up freedom, it actually did the opposite for Mathison. He had been a slave to his addiction and only experienced freedom when he gave it up.
The father of two is still deeply affected by the loss of his home, calling the experience “harder than you’d ever imagine.”
“It is so unsettling and…hard to put into words because I’ve got so many good things and so much to be grateful for, but this was a massive, massive experience of losing my kids’ entire lives and every piece of evidence of my existence and everything I’ve ever owned,” he explained.
“When I drove up to my house that morning, my house was on fire. I had five possessions. I had what I was wearing,” he recalled.
“I had a car and a phone, and I had nothing else in that moment. And I worked really hard in this business for a long time to have a nice life,” he continued. “So, [it’s] just going to take time.”
Related: GAF Star Cameron Mathison Spreads ‘Kindness and Love’ Through His Movies
In the rubble, he found several pieces of tile, including a broken piece that had the name of their home, “Casa Lula,” written on it. He shared a video of the pieces on Instagram and plans to make a memento out of the tiles.
He tries to help others that also lost their homes and admits that there’s a necessary healing process.
Last year, Mathison starred in GAF’s HOME SWEET CHRISTMAS with Candace Cameron Bure. Fans can expect to see him in future movies — he currently has a multi-picture deal with GAF.
Read Next: ‘Grateful’: Cameron Mathison Signs Multi-Picture Deal With Great American Media
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