"Dull, Dreary Playboy Fantasy"
What You Need To Know:
I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER is crammed with offensive content but incredibly, uncomfortably dull and dreary. Most of the acting is embarrassing. Nobody looks like they’re having fun. This is a movie intent on corrupting people of all ages. Teenagers hop in and out of bed. They vandalize property and drive drunk. And, the protagonist’s parents give him some condoms, champagne and wine. MOVIEGUIDE® issues its strongest warning to avoid I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER.
(HHH, HoHoHo, LLL, VV, SSS, NN, AAA, DD, MMM) Very strong humanist worldview with a mocking statement about Jesus Christ and extolling the coming-of-age of a goody two shoes nerd to make him a hard-drinking, promiscuous, rebellious, lying, cheating playboy, and very strong homosexual references and pro-homosexual attitude; 33 obscenities and 14 profanities plus lots of feces jokes; intense fight scenes where former boyfriend and friends tear up heroe’s home and beat up hero, punching, hero falls into rose bush and gets scars, kicking, stabbing, microwave vandalized, big fight scene at graduation party, people hit by cars, drunken car crash, and bloody nose; lots of sexual content and jokes includes two teenage girls imitate oral sex, boy goes to bed with two girls, teenagers hop in and out of bed, boy says he’s a homosexual after being with two girls, girls invite boys into shower, boys head falls into girl’s crotch twice, girl’s head falls into boy’s crotch, parents use Blackberry phone as a sex toy, references to self-abuse; upper female nudity, side female nudity, upper male nudity; extreme alcohol use and binge drinking by teenagers, drunk driving; no smoking but a verbal joke to drugs; and, lying, stealing, cheating, deliberate vandalism, rebellion, promotion of crime.
I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER is crammed with offensive content but incredible, embarrassingly, uncomfortably dull and dreary.
Denis Cooverman finds out that he is Buffalo Glenn High School valedictorian. His best friend, Rich, whom everybody accuses of being homosexual, tells Denis to say all the things in his speech he’s wanted to say, especially that he loves the most beautiful girl in the school, head cheerleader Beth Cooper, played by Hayden Panettiere. For years, Denis has sat behind Beth because of alphabetical order and wanted to tell her how much he loves her. He has a picture of her above his bed, which he uses to satisfy his fantasies. But even so, Denis has always been a superlative student, a conscientious gentleman and a complete dork.
Lo and behold, at his valedictory address, Denis not only declares his love for Beth but he exposes many of the other students’ flaws, such as Rich’s propensity to homosexuality, Cammie’s bitchiness, and Teresa’s promiscuity. Finally, the principal pushes him aside as the audience gets vicious. Beth Cooper comes up to him afterwards and thanks him. He invites her to his home for a party.
His parents give him some condoms, champagne and wine, and tell him to enjoy himself. Beth shows up with two of her friends, soon followed by her super jock, mean, military hopeful boyfriend, Kevin. Kevin trashes Denis’s home and beats him up.
Denis and Rich are saved by Beth and her friends. This begins a night of breaking all the rules, drinking to extreme, group sex, multiple fights, and violating as many laws as they can. As the production notes say, Denis “really experience some of the joys of higher learning – breaking curfew, destroying property, over-consumption of alcohol, fist fights, late nights, fast cars and fast women,” to which one must add deliberately mocking God. Rich ends up fornicating with two girls, Denis takes a nude shower with Beth and her friends. The message is that the playboy lifestyle is fun, but the movie belies the message.
Paul Rust, who plays Denis, is so boring that watching his performance is like watching steel rust. Hayden Panettiere does a moderately good job but everyone else is an embarrassment. Nobody looks like they’re having fun in this movie, and in the middle of the movie, Denis brings up the topic of fun with Beth, and she says do you think her lifestyle is fun? So, in some twisted way, this movie shows sin for what it is – vapid, vulgar and repulsive.
Evidently, the filmmakers thought they were making a movie for teenagers. If so, they missed their market by a mile. This is a movie intent on corrupting people of all ages. And, MOVIEGUIDE® issues its strongest warning to avoid I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER.
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