By Michaela Gordoni
Former BACHELOR star Madi Prewett Troutt recently shared how she returned to purity after being “enslaved” to porn and masturbation.
“The main thing we’re going to be covering is sexual sin focused on porn and masturbation,” Troutt, 29, said on June 23, episode of her “Stay True” podcast. “We’re going to tie in why purity matters to God, why holiness matters to God, why that’s a call for the children of God.”
She admitted that she had struggled with sexual sin since middle school.
“Thankfully, by the grace of God and by the power of Godly community and people around me, I have been free from porn and masturbation for — I don’t even know — 10 years,” she continued. “But that was something that enslaved me and marked me for so long. No matter how much I loved Jesus, I could not shake that sin. I could not break free from porn and masturbation.”
Troutt had felt influenced by the shows and music that she watched and listened to, which had sexual content. She started looking up inappropriate content on YouTube and felt embarrassed about what she’d been doing.
“Anytime you live in secret, it’s only going to create more sin and it’s only going to create more shame because that’s where the enemy thrives,” she said. “I was not able to break free until I brought other people into it, until I stopped letting the enemy run my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation.”
“I would beat myself up, and I would be bound by shame because I knew I loved Jesus and I wanted to live a life for Jesus, but I didn’t know how to get unstuck. I didn’t know how to break free from that sin,” she said, adding that it made her feel “robbed of confidence.”
Her actions made her feel confused about her identity and purpose. It was only after she confessed her sins to God and other believers that she broke free from her addiction.
“Obviously, that doesn’t mean I went from that moment and never struggled again — absolutely not,” she said. “It’s still a choice for me every single day, even as a married woman, to not return back to the past of my sexual sin addictions. It’s still a choice every single day for me not to choose to lust after things that I see online or to give into a feeling that arises.”
Related: BACHELOR’s Madison Prewett Cites Faith as the Foundation of Marriage to Grant Trout
Troutt also shared about her husband, Grant’s, purity struggles. He had sex with multiple people before realizing that was not what was best for him or what God desired for him.
“Grant…felt like, ‘Well, I already had sex, what’s the big deal?” Troutt recalled. “I am so thankful that when Grant had a radical transformation with Jesus, and when he started bringing accountability in his life, he chose to pursue a lifestyle of purity.”
In her book, she wrote about creating a purity pledge when she and Grant got together. The purpose of the pledge was to commit to not engaging in sexual activity before marriage. To have accountability, they gave copies of their pledges to their mentors.
“We’re doing it from a heartfelt place of we really do want to honor God and then save this for a forever covenant with each other one day,” Troutt explained. “That really was our why and our perspective. Then, after developing our why behind that value system was really just putting people around it to just hold us accountable in that.”
Troutt shows a lot of strength through her admissions of sin and dedication to doing what’s right. She and her spouse are on the right track.
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