By Michaela Gordoni
It’s not just children who need screen breaks.
Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt says parents should not be overly occupied with phones and screens.
“Kids can understand that parents need to be on their phones for work, for messages from family members, and for household errands,” Haidt explained on THE DAILY SHOW.
He emphasized that adults should put time parameters around their phone use and should narrate to their children what they are doing on their phone and why to keep themselves on task and show their children the importance of what they are doing.
For example, they can say, “I’m ordering groceries,” or “I’m waiting for a text from grandpa.”
“The rule I wish I’d had with my kids is ‘no phones in the bedroom, ever,’” The Anxious Generation author said. “Teens can easily spend 5-9 hours on a smartphone if left alone, and if they have social media apps. Willpower wanes late in the day, and judgment decreases.”
He added that most self-harm from cyberbullying happens at night. When children and their parents go to bed, they should keep their phones outside of their bedrooms.
Haidt also argues that only children above 16 should use the internet because it negatively impacts healthy brain growth and social behaviors.
Parents can also reverse screen harm by creating more personal connections at home. This can be achieved through device-free periods, like at the dinner table, and by sharing stories and asking their children questions, Psychology Today reported.
In a recent story by the Parent Coaching Institute, it found that “the more the parents interacted and focused on authentic connection, the more the teens felt understood about their tech use, and importantly, the more likely they were to cooperate with any guidelines the parents set.”
Psychologist Dona Matthews said studies show parents who spend a lot of time on their phones in front of their children have children who are more negative and less resilient; children feel unimportant, sad, mad, lonely or angry; and distracted parental attention harms children’s social/emotional development.
It also leads to poor parenting in general. When parents spend more time on their phones, their children are likely to act more silly and noisy, while parents act more irritable and impatient. It starts a bad cycle between parents and children.
One researcher said, “We are behaving in ways that certainly tell children they don’t matter, they’re not interesting to us, they’re not as compelling as anybody, anything, any ping that may interrupt our time with them.”
So, try to use your best screen behavior. What you do affects your children.
Read Next: Screen Time Limits Aren’t Just for Kids — Parents Need Them Too
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