THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS

"Puppet Pornography"

Quality:
Content: -4 Gross immorality, and/or worldview problems.
NoneLightModerateHeavy
Language
Violence
Sex
Nudity

What You Need To Know:

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is an extreme, hard R comedy about a talking puppet detective investigating the vicious murders of his dead brother’s fellow actors on a former TV series named “The Happytime Gang.” Phil is a disgraced police officer turned private detective. He takes a seductive female puppet’s case to stop a person blackmailing her for her private lusts. While he investigates, his puppet brother and some of his brother’s acting buddies from their TV program are brutally murdered. Phil’s old boss orders Phil to work with his former, estranged human partner to stop the killer.

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is filled with “f” words, profanities and lewd jokes from the beginning. It gets worse and worse from there. The movie follows the style of R-rated detective movies from the past, in an homage to hardboiled detective novels and film noir movies. However, it goes out of its way to do extremely obscene things you won’t find in the best of these movies and novels, even the ones that push the obscenity envelope. THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is an obscenity against human decency and artistic expression.

Content:

(PaPaPa, B, C, HoHo, LLL, VV, SSS, NNN, AA, DDD, MM): •

Dominant Worldview and Other Worldview Content/Elements:
Very strong pagan, immoral worldview with very slight moral, redemptive elements about stopping a vicious killer, plus two major supporting female characters are bisexual and “married,” but movie implies their homosexual behavior and relationship is warped; •

Foul Language:
About 188 obscenities (many “f” words and many “s” words), 31 strong profanities (many profanities blaspheming Jesus and some GD profanities), and 11 light profanities; •

Violence:
Talking puppet shoots another puppet point black in the head, a bullet accidentally pierces another puppet’s head while his daughter watches, unknown killer releases three dogs into a talking puppet’s apartment, and the dogs tear the puppet apart, unknown killer uses machine gun to tear apart the bodies of multiple talking puppets in an adult porn shop with puppet porn videos for sale (including a talking rabbit puppet and a cow puppet), car explodes with a human woman in it and catches fire, some fights and groin kicks, villains hold guns to characters heads in a couple scenes, a gunfight breaks out between unknown killer and several puppets with the killer murdering most of the puppets, male puppet almost gets swept into a jet engine, and a male puppet gets shot in the arm; •

Sex:
Extreme sexual content includes extensive fornication scene between two human-sized puppets in a small office while humans in the outer office are watching through a glass door, and male puppet’s seed ridiculously sprays all over the office and onto the glass door and ceiling, some very crude sex talk and sexual insults and more mild sex innuendoes, strong hints of self-abuse as an octopus puppet is milking a cow puppet lying on its back at an adult puppet porn shop, and the cow is depicted as enjoying it, titles of puppet porn videos are depicted, a female talking puppet in lingerie is making a sadomasochistic porn video with a semi-nude human man who’s chained up, female puppet twists man’s bare nipple, incest implied as two heterosexual puppets who are together are cousins, and talking human puppet kisses his former human girlfriend, and it’s implied here and there that real people can be intimate with talking puppets made to look like people (including one female puppet in a lesbian relationship with a human female in the movie); •

Nudity:
At least three close-up shots of a female puppet’s nude genital area created to look very realistic, plus a couple short scenes with upper male human nudity; •

Alcohol Use:
Alcohol use and a couple scenes of drunkenness; •

Smoking and/or Drug Use and Abuse:
Puppet protagonist smokes cigarettes often, woman smokes cigarette in one scene, and some puppets are addicted to sugar and crystal sugar that’s dyed purple, and human woman snorts sugar multiple times because she was given a puppet liver transplant when her human liver was shot to pieces (she also has jars of maple syrup in her refrigerator); and, •

Miscellaneous Immorality:
People and puppets trade insults, humans are portrayed as discriminating against live talking puppets in the city, male puppet protagonist has lots of built-up resentment against humans, verbal practical jokes are played on an uptight FBI agent who falls for the jokes every time, main character is framed for multiple murders, and some mockery, cynicism, and lying.

More Detail:

Imagine this conversation at Muppet Headquarters run by what’s left of the late and beloved Muppet creator Jim Henson’s company:

“Well, unfortunately, our more adult Muppet series bombed on TV. So, let’s make an R-rated Muppet movie with really disgusting, super-raunchy content!!!”

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. It seems, therefore, that the Jim Henson Company is displaying some kind of insanity by releasing THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS, a disgusting, stupid, extremely raunchy, foul-mouthed comedy about a live puppet detective investigating the vicious murders of his dead brother’s former fellow actors on a TV series named “The Happytime Gang.” THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is one of the most disgusting, obscene major movies ever made. Real, genuine laughs are very few and far between.

Phil is a disgraced LAPD policeman turned private eye. He’s also a puppet. He takes a nymphomaniac female puppet’s case to stop a person who’s blackmailing her. The case takes him first to a puppet porn store, where he investigates some customer files in the back room. While he’s preoccupied in the back with some music blaring, a mysterious figure in a hat and coat brutally shoots everyone in the store, including the live rabbit puppet who played a role on his brother, Larry’s, popular TV program from years ago.

When his brother is brutally torn apart by several dogs, Phil learns that the program’s actors were lined up to share in a new lucrative syndication deal worth millions of dollars. Phil figures that someone in the cast is eliminating the others to get a bigger share. His old police boss orders Phil to team up with his former human partner, Connie, played by Melissa McCarthy, to catch the killer before he kills again, even though Phil and Connie hate each other.

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is filled with “f” words, profanities, and lewd jokes from the very beginning. It just gets worse and worse from there. The movie follows the style of R-rated detective movies from the past, in an homage to hardboiled detective novels and film noir movies. However, it goes out of its way to do extremely obscene things you won’t find in the best of these movies and novels, even the ones that may push the obscenity envelope in one or more ways. As a result, THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is not only an obscenity against God and His Law, it’s also an obscenity against the kinds of stories and movies (film noir and detective fiction) it feigns to honor.

No one should see this abhorrent movie. To paraphrase Shakespeare’s MACBETH, it’s a murder most foul, morally, spiritually, and artistically.

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