By Mallory Mattingly
Every parent knows how difficult it is to tell your 13-year-old no when they ask for social media.
They say they feel left out, can’t make plans with their friends or wonder why you’re so mean, and maybe you start to doubt if you’re right, even though you know you’re looking out for them.
Titania Jordan, the Chief Parent Officer for Bark, a tech monitoring system, shared some tips to help you explain to your child why you’re waiting to give them access to social media.
- “Start with the Objectively Good Reasons”
- These reasons can range from health concerns to serious topics like screen addiction, porn, the comparison trap that comes with social media, predators, online grooming and even suicidal thoughts that can arise from online bullying.
- “Acknowledge that You Know This Will Be Hard”
- Empathize with your child and let them know you understand their desire to join social media. Kids’ social lives tend to revolve around social media, so they may bring that up when trying to gain access. However, that’s not a good reason to cave. Parents, stick to your guns; in the end, it will benefit your kids more than they know.
- Have Some “Conversation Starters”
- Have some questions ready to ask your child when they wonder why you’re saying no to social media. This will help them understand your reasons and make the conversation go smoother.
- The questions can be:
- “What do you think are the most dangerous parts of social media?”
- “What will this specific social media platform allow you to do that you can’t do now?”
- “What would you do if someone started making you feel weird online?”
- “What are some things you’ve heard about people getting into trouble with social media at school?”
- “Do you really want social media or are you feeling pressured because everyone else has it?”
- “If you could have just one social media account, what would it be and why?”
- If It Gets Too Hard, Consider Compromises
- This may sound opposite of what we just talked about, but this could include allowing certain apps for a short amount of time. These apps can be the ones that allow parental monitoring. You should also make sure your child shares their login information with you. This will build trust, and your child will know that you can see everything they say and do on the app.
While parenting in the digital age comes with challenges previous generation didn’t face, it is possible to raise children without an online presence.
Just ask HGTV stars Erin and Ben Napier who are so committed to keeping their kids offline that they started a nonprofit called OSPREY — Old School Parents Raising Engaged Youth.
“We are parents committed to helping our kids achieve social media-free childhoods until they graduate high school,” their mission statement begins. “When adolescents have no access to social media, they gain access to deeper engagement with their families, interests, and self-assurance. When we change the culture around ‘everyone has it except my child’ by linking arms with other parents in our communities and committing to embargo social media together beginning in the elementary grades, we set our children up for success before peer pressure can take it from them.”
Raising your child without social media might be difficult in the moment, but in the long run, they’ll thank you for keeping them safe and giving them the real-life social skills necessary to succeed.
Read Next: Is Social Media Really Causing the Youth Mental Health Crisis?
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