By India McCarty
Talking to teens can be difficult, but there are many different ways to create a strong foundation for communication. From active listening to controlling your own reactions, here are some of the best ways to communicate with your teen.
“Having a healthy and trusting parent-child relationship during the teenage years is more important than ever,” the Child Mind Institute explained. “Staying close isn’t easy, though. Teens often aren’t very gracious when they are rejecting what they perceive to be parental interference.”
One of the best ways to foster good communication with teens? Simply listening.
“Adolescents crave adult attention (even though they sometimes push us away),” the Center for Parent & Teen Communication stated. “Good listening is respectful. It is about giving someone full attention. Listening, and then reflecting on what you heard can help teens become aware of their own wisdom.”
Related: How to Keep Communication Open with Your Teen: A Loving and Prayerful Approach
The Times of India agreed, recommending parents give their kids their “full attention, nodding, making eye contact and reflecting back on what they have said.”
Another good way to build connection with your teen is to be nonjudgemental while listening. While it can be easy to want to “fix” your kid’s problems or to express disappointment in their actions, experts recommend listening without judgment.
“When teens talk about things that concern us, our natural instinct is to go on full alert,” the Center for Parent & Teen Communication wrote. “Everything becomes a potential catastrophe that must be solved…[so] teens won’t want to deal with the drama.”
The Times of India told parents to “keep discussions collaborative rather than controlling,” which will encourage your child to want to come to you with problems so that the two of you can talk it out together.
Another good way to keep the lines of communication open is to have an established time every day to talk, for example, sharing a meal together.
“Dinner conversations give every member of the family a chance to check in and talk casually about sports or television or politics,” the Child Mind Institute explained. “Kids who feel comfortable talking to parents about everyday things are likely to be more open when harder things come up, too.”
Lastly, it’s important for parents to be observant. Your teen might not always want to talk about something that’s bothering them, but if you notice changes in your kid’s daily behavior, you should address it, “and be supportive (without being judgmental),” per the Child Mind Institute.
The teenage years can be tricky, but with a little bit of effort, parents can keep the lines of communication open — and create a strong foundation for a great relationship with their teens.
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