What You Need To Know:
(LLL, VV, SS, NN, A, Ho) Lack of any intelligible thought process makes for no clear worldview; 20 obscenities, 2 profanities, 6 exclamatory profanities, & numerous vulgarities (overt, foul sexual jokes & crude flatulence jokes); western action including fistfights, gunfights resulting in deaths, execution by gunshot through the head (played for laughs!), & nearly every male character is struck in the groin at least once; veiled depiction of married intercourse, implied promiscuity, prostitution, frequent strongly implied bestiality (intercourse with cattle), implied homosexual activity, & frequent (often very crude) sexual innuendo; brief but full female nudity in paintings, partial male nudity in bathing scene & prostitute character wears revealing clothing; alcohol abuse; and, homosexuality playfully promoted.
John Candy stars in the final film of his career as an inept and frequently drunken wagon master leading a wagon train of frustrated settlers back East to St. Louis in the embarrassingly humorless comedy, WAGONS EAST. Fed up with the harsh realities that make up life in the West, a group of settlers — more accurately, townspeople who have done no actual “settling” — decide to give up and go home. They hire a down-and-out wagon master to lead them back to a kinder, gentler way of life — back East.
All attempts at humor fail miserably in this dull waste of time and film. The movie is also plagued by: pointless distractions comprised of irrelevant plot tangents; a mishmash of uninteresting characters; bad dialogue; missed timing; foul and disgusting sight-gags (kicks to the groin, passing gas, frequent references to sexual intercourse with animals, etc.); and, bad editing. The end result is an embarrassing effort by all parties involved. Richard Lewis, doing his usual stereotypical Jewish city-dweller, is totally miscast. The rest of the cast are equally lame. John Candy, rest his soul, gives possibly the worst performance of his career. WAGONS EAST is badly in need of a total rewrite, or a merciful execution.