How This Parenting Style Contributes to Teen Depression Rates

Photo from Soragrit Wongsa via Unsplash

By India McCarty

Podcaster, author and professor Scott Galloway weighed in on how this parenting style can contribute to your teen’s depression. 

“[They] have done a lot of work on teen depression, and we’ve seen teen self-harm and depression skyrocket,” Galloway said during an episode of the “Glass Half Full” podcast. 

He pointed to “two fundamental drivers”: social media, and a parenting style he referred to as “concierge” or “bulldozer” parenting. 

“The second is our fault,” Galloway said. “And that is as parents, we engage in what’s called concierge or bulldozer parenting, where we clear out every obstacle. ‘The kid got a B-plus. Let’s call the teacher. Let’s get tutoring.’ Whatever it is, we clear out the obstacles for them. We make their life as frictionless as possible.”

Related: The Hidden Dangers of Helicopter Parenting: The Fine Line Between Support and Overprotection

He continued, “There’s no bullying at schools anymore. There’s a lack of it, I should say. And the result is this princess and the pea syndrome. And that is we use so many sanitary wipes on our kids’ lives that they don’t develop their own immunities.”

 

“Concierge parenting kills resilience,” Galloway said in an interview with The Times. “Young [people] need to develop the resilience to recover from rejection and failure. That’s important, because in life all you need is one person to give you a job or agree to invest in your business or return your affection. But to get there, you need resilience to the word ‘no.’”

He explained on “Glass Half Full” that getting comfortable with rejection and obstacles is “the only element” to finding success. 

“The key to success is the ability to apply for jobs you’re not qualified for, to ask people out on dates who you perceive as being outside of your weight class, romantically, to engage in friends or try to be friends with people you perceive are, for whatever reason, cooler than you. Because the key to wonderful yeses is just a great deal of nos,” he finished. 

Other experts have explored how this “bulldozer” style of parenting can affect teens’ mental health. A study conducted by the University of Michigan’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found a correlation between high rates of anxiety and depression in teens and the level of autonomy those teens are given by their parents. 

For example, less than 50% of parents would allow their teen to stay alone in a hotel room while they went to get breakfast.

“It’s absolutely no surprise to me that we are seeing these dramatic rises in anxiety, depression, even suicide among teenagers,” Boston College psychologist Peter Gray told Science News, recommending parents encourage teens to use public transit or order food at a restaurant on their own. 

While it can be tempting to help your child overcome any obstacles they face or want to protect them from the world, it’s important to allow them to make their own mistakes and grow. 

Read Next: Kristin Bell, Dax Shepherd Have an Unorthodox Parenting Strategy …

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